140: And I Wasn't On Drugs

Hello Dysfunction

Comedy, Improv

5 • 1.8K Ratings

🗓️ 12 August 2021

⏱️ 75 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Crystal got embarrassed at Alpha Beta and has ugly nails. Pata Fria is a lonely girl, but don’t marry your cousin or your child. Starbucks is really slackin so thank god for Orbit Coffee!

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey guys, we're back episode 140 of hello dysfunction with potaphria and I'm Tara I'm crystal
0:28.0	you don't sound like yourself. I'm really fucked. My sin has been bad you guys oh my god and I'm so
0:36.5	sorry to complain but I'm almost positive. I'm gonna have to have surgery again. I know the
0:41.7	sister's growing back. It feels the same. It's whooping my ass so bad today. Bad. You got to make
0:49.2	an appointment. I'm gonna go on a kidney failure from the amount of Sudafet and Advil I'm taking.
0:54.5	It's been fucked up but don't wait for it to get hella bad or worse like you've been complaining
1:00.9	about it. You need to like make that a priority. I know I was telling you I can't get into my doctor
1:06.9	tomorrow. I'm just gonna fucking go to urgent care. I need antibiotics. I know I do. Yeah. Before
1:12.7	you can't open your eyes. Yeah before the vertigo starts coming bad that's the next thing that comes
1:18.6	but if I die donate to my family's go fund me and just donate your body to science. It's got it.
1:25.9	No no no funny shit. No funeral no burial. No you have a party and it goes to science. Yes that's
1:32.5	it. Same. Today has been fun filled. My daughter Mona she went to go get her hair done today and
1:41.4	I knew it was gonna take hell along but yeah I was babysitting. Yeah it's really fucking
1:46.9	late for us today. Yeah so we're releasing late but yeah I was watching the fucking wild baby bear
1:54.0	is what I call her. I babysit her from time to time like. You had it a long time today. Today's
2:00.4	the longest I've ever had her. Like usually it's like one to three hours tops. I don't think I've
2:07.1	ever watched her longer than three hours. We have to send her mom. She's not there yet. I had to
2:13.2	leave. I was like I gotta go. What I finally put her down for a nap because she was fighting it.
2:18.4	She fought a good fight all day today. She was like fighting the fucking nap. I put people down
2:23.1	and I was like okay come on and I hear all these stories of like. She was like naps her for babies.
2:28.5	She takes them with her dad all the time. She takes them with our cousin whose house she was at
2:33.7	like yesterday. I was like what are these naps that she's taking with everyone else because she
	...

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