#14: When love hurts: Are you in a Trauma Bond?

The Inner Child Podcast

Gloria Zhang, MA

Ptsd, Attachment Styles, Commitment, Self-improvement, Childhood Trauma, Health & Fitness, Therapist, Inner Child Healing, Education, C-ptsd, Codependency, Alternative Health, Self Love, Dating, Asian Canadian, Relationships, Codependent Relationships, Mental Health

4.8 • 551 Ratings

🗓️ 30 May 2021

⏱️ 21 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Is love supposed to hurt? Is it normal to feel emotionally attached to a person who hurts you, keeps making empty promises to change, and yet you find yourself staying anyway? In today's episode, we're talking about trauma bonds and why it's not actually "love", but an attachment trauma response. Screenshot this episode with your biggest takeaways, and tag me on Instagram @bygloriazhang! Ready to transform? Join my acclaimed 12-week course for women who want to attract Extraordinary, H...

Transcript

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0:00.0	Is love supposed to hurt? And is it normal to feel really, really attached to someone who hurts you?
0:06.0	And you keep fantasizing about going back to the old days. They keep promising they will change, but they don't.
0:13.0	And you can't stop even though you know they're not good for you.
0:16.0	Well, today we're talking about trauma bonds and why it's not actually love, but it's an attachment trauma response.
0:24.6	Stay till the end to learn my three tips on how to overcome trauma bonds and help your inner child move on to healthy, loving relationships.
0:44.3	Hi, I'm Gloria Zhang and after 10 years of struggling in toxic relationships, I attracted the love of my life by healing my inner child.
0:48.6	This podcast is your weekly dose of my expertise as a therapist and dating relationship coach for high achievers.
0:56.9	Learn tips to overcome low self-worth, emotional baggage, and childhood trauma so that you too
1:02.7	can step into your power and attract the love you desire. Welcome to the Inner Child podcast.
1:10.7	Welcome back. I'm Gloria Zhang, psychotherapist and inner child. Welcome to the Inner Child Podcast.
1:16.5	Welcome back, I'm Gloria Zhang, psychotherapist and inner child coach and expert.
1:22.4	Have you noticed that Hollywood movies, they always glamorize the chasing part of the relationship,
1:25.4	that roller coaster, does she, does she not?
1:30.1	And we don't often get to see real healthy, lasting relationships.
1:37.8	Well, trauma bonding is one type of abusive relationship that hooks you in due to the wild roller coaster of ups and downs, the codependency, chasing breadcrumbs, and this shame cycle.
1:46.9	I get a lot of questions about this, and I've been meaning to make this episode for a while.
1:51.6	So how do you know if you're in a trauma bond?
1:55.5	Well, here are three signs, and by the way, trauma bonding doesn't only happen in romantic relationships. It can
2:03.3	also happen in family, at work with friends. So just apply these to your own situation.
2:10.1	Number one, you're unhappy. You're unhappy. You may not even like your partner. In fact,
2:16.6	you might even really dislike or hate them,
2:19.5	but the thought of leaving that relationship gives you so much dread and so much fear and so much
	...

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