139 - We Bought A House And Moved Hundreds of Miles Away!
Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson
PodcastOne
5 • 2.8K Ratings
🗓️ 18 June 2025
⏱️ 66 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Surprise! We bought a house! In this episode, we unpack (emotionally, not physically... we are still avoiding the boxes and Buffy likes to sit on them) the chaotic rollercoaster of home buying. The stress, mama! The Scotch Tape Scam of it all!! Each day, our deep disdain for cheapo house flippers wallows deeper and deeper lol. We also discuss why packing is dreadful and why we’d rather be bald in a suit at a Pitbull concert. Plus, we pay our respects to Mother Ethel Cain. Welcome to our officially unofficial counselor cabin housewarming celebration!
Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!
Sponsors:
➜ Go to TropicalSmoothieCafe.com and find a cafe near you.
➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp to get 15% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets. Exclusions apply. See site for details.
➜ Check out the AutoQuote Explorer® at Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.
Works Cited:
➜ Rick Rouan. “Fact Check: Yes, Jack Black’s Mother Worked on System That Helped Save Apollo 13 Astronauts.” USA Today, Gannett Satellite Information Network, 30 June 2021.
➜ Hilary Fox. “White Shirts. Black Ties. Bald Caps. Pitbull’s Fans Party like Clones Worldwide.” Hartford Courant, The Associated Press, 12 June 2025.
Camp Songs:
Social Media:
See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Transcript
Click on a timestamp to play from that location
| 0:00.0 | Have you ever canoed down a babbling brook? |
| 0:03.0 | No, but I have cried at a Taco Bell. |
| 0:06.0 | Oh, same thing. |
| 0:08.0 | Listen up, campers. |
| 0:09.0 | It's time to buckle up, pitch a tent, and take a hike. |
| 0:11.0 | Because camp counselors is a variety show. |
| 0:13.0 | So prepare for a good old-fashioned kumbaya, weird news, |
| 0:17.0 | hot gossip, and scary stories around the campfire. |
| 0:20.0 | So spooky. |
| 0:21.7 | Is this podcast even about camping? |
| 0:23.4 | No, but it is camp. |
| 0:25.7 | This is camp counselors. |
| 0:30.5 | Hey, happy campers. |
| 0:32.8 | Welcome back to Camp Shady Birch. |
| 0:35.5 | That's Paris Hilton. |
| 0:37.1 | And that's Nicole Richie. And it is another |
| 0:39.4 | fabulous day here at Camp Shady Birch. Does she look new to our visual learners? Oh my God. We have moved. |
| 0:52.5 | Guys, not only have we moved, but we bought a house, y'all. |
| 0:57.1 | I know. |
| 0:57.7 | I feel like a lot of campers have been speculating because we've been posting videos in the |
| 1:02.5 | home. |
| 1:02.8 | If you're on Patreon, cabin five, they already know the deal. |
... |
Transcript will be available on the free plan in 15 days. Upgrade to see the full transcript now.
Disclaimer: The podcast and artwork embedded on this page are from PodcastOne, and are the property of its owner and not affiliated with or endorsed by Tapesearch.
Generated transcripts are the property of PodcastOne and are distributed freely under the Fair Use doctrine. Transcripts generated by Tapesearch are not guaranteed to be accurate.
Copyright © Tapesearch 2025.