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The Addicted Mind Podcast

138: From the Perspective of an Addict’s Loved One: Transmuting Pain Into Service with KL Wells

The Addicted Mind Podcast

Duane Osterlind, LMFT

Health & Fitness, Medicine, Mental Health

4.8621 Ratings

🗓️ 19 July 2021

⏱️ 33 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

When we are in deep pain or we have these hardships in our life, we have to learn how to transmute them and turn them into something different – not just overcoming it. As for KL Wells, she decided to transmute her pain into service by helping others whose loved ones are struggling with addiction.

KL is a businesswoman and she has a 30-year-old son who is a recovering addict. Through the course of her life, she has lived the generational story around addiction, not struggling with addiction herself, but being able to see addiction from a different perspective. Her mom was addicted to prescription medications, which was something popular back in those days. Then she had a brother who was addicted to cocaine. She married an alcoholic and divorced, and had her son out of that marriage. She subsequently remarried a recovering alcoholic of 28 years. 

Seeing her son being arrested at gunpoint and who was yelling at her to save him was a very traumatic experience for her. In that moment, every dream she had for him shattered. Her heart broke, but in that "cracking open," she also knew it was meant to happen for her, fully aware that you have to give yourself permission to completely dissolve, and let the emotions work through you. 

Hearing KL’s story, there's so much resilience flowing through her. When you have a child who is suffering from a disease that could kill him or her, it has a catalytic impact on us, as parents, like nothing else can. She knew she had to put this down in a way that she can help other people because it's incredibly painful to witness the people you love in so much suffering.

Today, KL talks about her project, Voices InCourage, a community that provides that space where you actually feel heard on a multitude of layers and levels, and that people get you because they've walked that path. Then you can be raw and real, and transmute it for yourself so it serves your journey.  

In this episode, you will hear:

  • KL’s journey as the loved one of different addicts
  • The two major questions from which Voices InCourage was born out of
  • The two life-defining moments for KL
  • Transmuting your challenges instead of overcoming them
  • Embracing our traumas and grief

Key Quotes:

[06:56] - “Pain pushes until vision pulls.”

[08:36] - "When you have a child who is suffering with the disease that could kill him or her, it has a catalytic impact on us as parents, like nothing else can."

[12:17] - “You have to give yourself permission to completely dissolve, and let the emotions work through you.”

[14:53] - “In the midst of COVID, with all the numbers just skyrocketing in terms of overdoses and relapses, addiction going up, alcoholism going up, and abuse going up… We're in a pandemic of proportions we've never seen before.”

[16:59] - “We are on the planet to serve. All of our life experiences are building blocks to service.”

[18:26] - “We're human beings, and we have a full component of emotions and sadness and grief are part of life.”

[25:37] - "95% of our success or failure is predicated on the community that we surround ourselves with."

[26:46] - "One of the top human needs is to be heard and we're not trained to do this as a society, as a culture, as a world."

Supporting Resources:

https://voicesincourage.com/

Man's Search for Meaning Book by Viktor Frankl

Episode Credits

If you like this podcast and are thinking of creating your own, consider talking to my producer, Danny Ozment.

Find out more at https://emeraldcitypro.com

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See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hello, everyone. Welcome to another episode of the Addicted Mind podcast.

0:11.0

My name is Wayne Osterlin, and I'm your host. Our guest today is K.L. Wells, and she is going to talk about her project Voices and Courage. So she

0:26.5

shares her journey of being the loved one of many addicts and her journey of dealing with her son's addiction and the moments where she had to change,

0:44.0

transmute her trauma and suffering to thrive. So she shares her journey on that and talks about

0:54.0

her passion in helping others whose loved ones are struggling with addiction.

1:02.0

It was great to have K.L. Wells on the podcast. I love talking with her and can just feel her passion, her love, and in a way, her calmness and her transmuting of her

1:17.8

own pain and suffering to be able to thrive.

1:21.5

All right.

1:22.4

Let's go ahead and start this episode.

1:28.7

All right, everyone, welcome to the Addicted Mind podcast.

1:32.3

My guest today is K.L. Wells, and she's going to introduce herself and talk about voices

1:38.3

and courage.

1:39.2

I am thrilled to be with you today, Dwayne, so thank you for having me on.

1:43.1

What do I want to say? I think right off

1:45.6

the bat, I'm a mom and I'm a businesswoman and I have a 30-year-old son who is a recovering

1:52.2

addict. Awesome. And through the course of my life, I have lived the generational story around

2:00.1

addiction, starting with my mom who was

2:02.6

addicted to prescription medications. It was part of the thing they did back in those days.

2:07.9

Then I had a brother who was addicted to cocaine and married an alcoholic and divorced and had my son

2:17.0

out of that marriage. and then subsequently remarried again

2:21.8

a recovering alcoholic of 28 years. So have been through the daughter of, the sister of, the wife of,

2:31.8

and the mom of. So out of all of that experience continue to push the envelope in

...

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