I'm Maggie Smith, and this is The Slowdown.

A big part of loving someone is loving their idiosyncrasies.

I don't mean tolerating them or putting up with them or trying to overlook them.

I mean delighting in them.

I mean taking real pleasure in the way someone laughs or speaks, or the way they tell a story,

or the way they cook or eat. These are the little things you'll miss about them when they're

away or after they're gone. A big part of loving someone, whether they're a friend or a family member or someone you're

romantically involved with, is embracing them exactly as they are, not hoping they'll change

or waiting for them to change, or, worst of all, trying to change them yourself.

My children tease me all the time about my quirks, my loud, cackling laugh, my childlike,

and very uncool excitement about the natural world.

The way I pronounce certain words, is it basal or basal?

And my propensity to curse like a sailor, but then say language, when they do the same.

They tease me, and I let them, because I know they do it out of love. I've never

gotten the sense that they wished I were different. So what if I misplace my car keys and

phone several times a day? So what if I make every meal a little spicier than it needs to be?

"'So what if I quote Ferris Bueller's Day Off

"'and the Big Lobowski more than anyone should?

"'My quirks are part of what make me me.

"'That's true of all of us.

"'And we need the people in our lives to love us, quirks and all.

I hope I'm that kind of mother to them, and that kind of friend and partner and sister and daughter throughout my life.

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