Hello and welcome to the Mark Rose podcast.

You know, for me, one of the greatest challenges in my life hasn't been relational, so to speak, with other,

so much as it has been speaking my authentic truth at the fear of how it will

be received, and even just sharing my feelings and my thoughts, thinking that somehow how

they're received determines their validation and how I'm received determines my worth and validation

and being able to differentiate what is biologically

conditioned, you know, for the desire to belong versus what is just based on past experiences

where someone didn't accept us for who we are, what we thought, or our feelings were denied,

or whatever it is, our expression was suppressed by a teacher, a parent, friends,

whatever it is. And, you know, it's being able to recognize that as a survival strategy

when you're young is important so that you feel like you belong. But it's this interesting

paradox because you belong at the cost of self, just like you can be in the relationship at the

cost of self, but you're in a relationship. So you could be doing, quote, unquote, everything right

and checking off all the things on the list and being everything you were taught to be and still be

completely miserable, completely unhappy, completely unfulfilled.

And, you know, I think for me, this was recognizing, I guess, what was sort of, as I think about it,

you know, what was, I certainly was happy. I certainly had joy. I certainly enjoyed light.

And I don't think I felt at all. I didn't taste at all.

I wasn't fully present. I think in achieving those things on the list, you start to see that they're not

necessarily what you want, which isn't to say that they can be sometimes. You know, of course,

like, you might have loved to

become an accountant, and that was exactly what you were taught to become or a doctor or whatever it is.

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