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The Allusionist

130. Valentine

The Allusionist

Helen Zaltzman

Arts, Education, Words, Linguistics, History, Entertainment, Helen Zaltzman, Etymology, Society & Culture

4.73.8K Ratings

🗓️ 14 February 2021

⏱️ 15 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

St Valentine's name may nowadays be all over the romance-related merch for 14 February, but he was also the patron saint of beekeepers, epilepsy and plagues. Let's get to know this multi-hyphenate saint a bit better.

Find out more about topics covered in this episode at theallusionist.org/valentine. All the information in this episode is real, even though it sounds like it's not.

The music is by Martin Austwick. Hear Martin’s own songs at palebirdmusic.com or search for Pale Bird on Bandcamp and Spotify, and he’s @martinaustwick on Twitter and Instagram. 

The Allusionist's online home is theallusionist.org. Support the show by becoming a patron at patreon.com/allusionist. Stay in touch at twitter.com/allusionistshow, facebook.com/allusionistshow and instagram.com/allusionistshow.

Support the show: http://patreon.com/allusionist

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

This is the illusionist, in which I, Helen Zoltzman, scatter language like rose petals

0:09.3

in a highly sweet. Sorry to ever have to clean up. This episode is about valentine, because

0:17.6

the word has taken on a particular connotation which is quite far from the eponymous saint.

0:22.3

And if you're not in the mood for romance, don't worry, because content note this episode

0:26.8

contains plagues, beheading, animal sacrifices and bird sex which can be quite violent.

0:34.4

On with the show.

0:44.4

Oh hi. Hi, have you been waiting long? No, no it's fine. Nice to meet you, I'm St Valentine.

0:50.8

These St Valentine? A St Valentine, certainly.

0:54.6

The one from the cards and the heart shaped boxes of chocolates and the red lace bras and

0:59.0

stuff.

1:00.0

Yeah, I guess. I kind of have a portfolio career. Oh yeah. Yeah, I'm actually also the patron

1:06.0

saint of beekeepers, epilepsy and plagues, but you don't see beekeepers' shape boxes of

1:10.7

chocolates in the supermarket in February, do you?

1:13.4

Ha ha.

1:14.4

Well how'd you get to be patron saint of beekeepers in epilepsy? Well, I'm not the person to

1:18.8

ask really, that all got decided after I was dead, so I did help out a few people who

1:24.3

had epilepsy, but it's really hard to remember all the good things I did, you know, I had

1:29.1

range.

1:30.1

Did you help a beekeeper with epilepsy? So they didn't know whether you were curing

1:34.0

someone because they were beekeeper or because they had epilepsy, so they had to make

1:38.0

you the patron saint of both, right? Yeah, ha, cover all bases.

1:42.3

They'll sometimes also make you patron saint of a disease because you had it or something

...

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