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The Betrayed, The Addicted, The Expert

#127: My Partner Is Sober But My Relationship Is Not Healing. Now What?

The Betrayed, The Addicted, The Expert

Ashlynn Mitchell, Brannon Patrick, Coby Mitchell

Health & Fitness, Education, Mental Health, Sexuality, Self-improvement

4.8 • 1.2K Ratings

🗓️ 4 April 2022

⏱️ 5 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Caller Emily's Question: "I’ve been through most of the models over the past 15 years. I agree that the model needs constant growth… are you familiar with Vicki Tidwell Palmer? Her moving being betrayal book and courses are some of the best I’ve seen. It is so refreshing to have a therapist who understands and validates betrayal and whose goal is to MOVE you BEYOND it. We are still married, 21 years and still trying to gain connection and closeness in marriage. One piece that I feel you may be missing (or maybe I just haven’t heard you speak to it) is that I don’t feel that the betrayed is able/ should be asked to be the person to give compassion and understand/support/accountability for the betrayer. I’ve been to a lot of therapists who wanted to focus on my lack of compassion for my husband. I have an enormous amount of compassion for the sad scared little boy in him who does not love himself. What is true is that in trauma, betrayal, pain, and personal healing I am not able to be the friend he needs."

We're publishing 2 episodes a week on our Real Talk Recovery Podcast Feed (1 per week on BAE feed). You can find those bonus episodes and subscribe to our Real Talk Recovery channel here

We would love to help answer your questions related to sex addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing. Go to realtalkrecovery.com to submit your question.

Tyler Patrick, "The Wandering Therapist", is co-founder of Love Strong (lovestrong.com), a Christian-based Recovery + WHOLEHEARTED living therapy practice. If you'd like to work with Love Strong via telehealth or in-person, reach out to us at [email protected] or go to our website: https://lovestrong.com. We have a great online Foundations Of Recovery Class starting soon. This class is for sex addiction recovery and healing from betrayal trauma. Go to https://lovestrong.com/services/foundations-group/ to learn more and sign up.  

Brannon Patrick, "The Expert", is co-founder of Therapy Utah (therapyutah.org). You can follow Brannon on Instagram @brannon_patrick. He has some really great online courses available at brannonpatrick.com like his Boundary Bootcamp course. Brannon has a program called L.I.F.T. for betrayal trauma and addiction recovery available online starting soon. Go to https://www.liftforrecovery.com/ for more info!  

Join us for one of our "Life-Changing" retreats. therapybros.com/events

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

My partner is sober but my relationship is not healing. Now what? Welcome to the

0:08.0

Real Talk Recovery Podcast with the Therapy Brothers. We're brothers, we're

0:12.0

therapists, and we know recovery. Bring your stories, your questions, your

0:16.8

successes with real recovery.

0:30.0

All right, Brandon. Sounds like another one of these messy middle kinds of

0:38.5

conversations today. But I got to tell you like over the weekend, I got to

0:44.8

tell you about my highlight of the weekend really quickly. Okay, please. I'm a

0:49.0

little nervous. I know you should be what weird thing did you do now? No, I didn't

0:55.1

do anything. It was all about you actually, Brandon. You don't remember this

0:59.8

but when your daughter Sandy was really little, did you get that message from

1:04.0

Rex this weekend? Yeah, I got. You guys are you guys are with Sandy had to be

1:10.1

like four or five years old and Rex was pretending to film Sandy while you

1:15.2

guys were playing just dance, but you were in the background with your

1:18.2

shirt off dancing the same way Sandy was and Rex was really just filming you.

1:22.2

So that was the highlight of my weekend is to watch you get fully into just

1:26.6

dance. That's because I'm a heck of a dancer. So of course you loved it. And it

1:31.4

wasn't for your dance moves. It was really because of how how terrible you are

1:35.6

at dancing. So hey, oh, you're one to talk, Tyler. I've seen you at a wedding. Oh

1:41.6

my gosh, you can just you can ruin the whole whole dance where everyone just stops

1:46.4

dancing when you get on it. So anyway, that was the highlight of my weekend,

1:54.4

Brandon. So thank you. You're welcome. All right. So we have a guest here, Emily,

2:02.3

and I'm actually really excited for her to be here. I think that we're going to

...

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