Hi, it's Slowdown producer Micah. Winter is here, and it's the perfect time to pause, reflect, and slow down.

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Thank you.

I'm Major Jackson, and this is the slowdown.

On Christmas Eve, my grandmother led us in singing holiday carols.

I love when she played her upright piano. She was self-taught,

and thus she mostly carried the tune with her soprano voice, while her fingers trailed behind

the melody. We didn't care. Me and my cousin sang along with her. I remember this night of songs because that was the night I learned to use a nutcracker.

I ate so many walnuts and oranges that I became sick.

Someone rang the doorbell.

We initially did not hear it over the holiday music.

Then a loud banging froze us. I opened the door. It was my father. He stood on the steps. Snowflakes dusted his hat and eyelashes.

My grandmother urged him to come in. He was tentative, but then took a few steps inside.

He removed his hat and clenched it in his hands.

Then I noticed his face was wet from both the snow and tears.

He had been crying.

I was young and was slightly confused.

I had only seen my father during weekends, full of laughter.

I had not seen this side of him before, sorrowful. His tall frame and shoulders slightly bent forward,

...