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The Simplified Podcast with Emily Ley

126. The Unseen Load of the Default Parent

The Simplified Podcast with Emily Ley

Emily Ley

Society & Culture, Personal Journals

4.91.7K Ratings

🗓️ 27 July 2023

⏱️ 25 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

+ how to make it lighter // If you have a partner in parenting, chances are you two divide the labor—but is it equal? How much of the small details (making the appointments, soothing the hurts and bad dreams, keeping up with bake sales and family calendars) fall to one parent? And did you decide on that labor, or did it kind of just . . . fall to one parent? Emily shares research and her own experience in how the unseen load of being the default parent has affected her life, her motherhood, and her partnership. And, most importantly, she shares how partners can work together to create a shared vision for their family that allows every family member to flourish—including how to relieve some burden from the parent who's been bearing the brunt of the load.

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Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hi friends, I'm Emily Lay and you're listening to the Simplified Podcast. If you're looking

0:15.6

to simplify your life and organize your home, then you're in the right place. Every week,

0:21.0

I invite you to explore practical ways to organize and automate the complicated parts

0:25.3

of life so you can focus on what truly matters most.

0:29.0

Well guys, I don't know how it's even possible, but we are approaching the end of summer. All

0:35.9

eyes are on back to school season and if you're anything like me, that means it's time

0:40.9

for a fresh start. If you have not purchased your signature Simplified planner, now is the

0:46.6

time. The signature Simplified planners in our shop at EmilyLay.com start August 1st.

0:55.7

Do you ever start to notice the same idea popping up in your life over and over again?

1:01.0

And you go, huh? Maybe this is something I should listen to or pay attention to. That's

1:05.8

kind of where I am with something right now. A few months ago, I saw a meme on Instagram

1:11.2

that stopped me in my tracks. I love a funny meme, but this was not one of those. This

1:16.6

was a little more serious. It was an illustrated meme with a bunch of different scenarios on

1:21.1

it. A mom soothing the emotions of an upset child. A mom up late at night feeding a kid.

1:27.1

A mom organizing holiday parties and making sure backpacks were filled and doing school

1:31.1

drop off and pick up and prepping meals and organizing the home. And on top of all these

1:36.1

scenarios was one simple phrase, the unseen load of the default parent. Well, that one

1:43.1

got me. It got me so much that I shared it to my stories and you guys really resonated

1:48.1

with it also. Fast forward to a couple weeks ago. I was listening to Gen Hatmakers podcast,

1:53.2

which I do a lot because it is just so good and she is so wise. And her guest that week

1:58.2

was Eve Rodzki, a Harvard Law graduate and organizational management guru. Eve was

2:04.4

talking about her own pull between being a lawyer to billionaire families, just like

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