Okay, folks, you are listening to the latest episode, the latest edition of Life on Planet Porky.

Thank you very much indeed for joining us today when I say us, of course, I mean myself,

Borkmeister, and of course, rock chick writer extraordinaire, Leslie Ann Jones,

and Leslie Ann, it has come to my attention that you've been bigging yourself up around the

West End of London. So you've become a lady of leisure and glamour, have you, again?

I can't do anything, can I? You've got your spies everywhere, Perry.

Indeed.

Indeed.

So what have you been up to?

I had a very glamorous day yesterday.

I had lunch at Scots in Mayfair, which is probably best known these days as the place where Nigella Lawson was throttled by her former husband in the sort of little alcoes outside the restaurant.

I was inside the restaurant, wonderfully civilised.

They've got a new thing in place, which is instead of having your temperature taken with a thermometer when you go in,

which is what most restaurants have to have now. In fact, of all

restaurants, I think, they've got a screen, like a monitor, like a computer screen there,

and you just stand in front of it and it takes your temperature. They've got glass screens

installed within the restaurant and, you know, no masks, no, you can't leave your coat in the

cloakroom, that's the one thing.

But they've taken all the precautions and the food and wine are as wonderful as ever.

Yeah, oh, that's brilliant. Well, I'm very pleased about all that. That's great.

The thermometer thing, it's not a thermometer in the old-fashioned sense of putting your mouth. It's now a gun.

They point at your head, isn't it? Yeah, mostly. But this one, you just stood in front of it,

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