1229: From Proving You're Good to Being Fully Alive with Elise Loehnen
Emotionally Uncomfortable
Hosted by Heather Chauvin | Insights inspired by Mel Robbins, Bréne Brown, Danielle Laporte, Elizab
4.6 • 576 Ratings
🗓️ 10 September 2025
⏱️ 57 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
In this episode, Heather sits down with Elise Loehnen, New York Times bestselling author of On Our Best Behavior, to unpack what it really means to break free from the pressure to be "good" and start living from a place of wholeness. Together, they explore how generational and cultural conditioning shapes women's roles, the emotional cost of over functioning, and how to rewrite the stories we've been taught to live by.
This conversation pulls back the curtain on the invisible scripts running your life and invites you to stop performing, start feeling, and come home to yourself.
What we cover:
🩶Why women are unconsciously conditioned to perform "goodness" (and how it shows up)
🩶The deeper fears and attachments underneath the 'do-it-all' identity
🩶How to begin choosing wholeness over goodness—and what makes that so emotionally uncomfortable
About Elise
Elise Loehnen is the New York Times bestselling author of On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to be Good and the host of the podcast, Pulling the Thread, where she interviews cultural luminaries about the big questions of today, including people like Joy Harjo, John & Julie Gottman, Dr. Gabor Maté, and Esther Perel.
In addition to On Our Best Behavior, she is the author of a corresponding workbook—Choosing Wholeness Over Goodness—with coach Courtney Smith (July 2025), and the co-author of True & False Magic, which legendary psychiatrist Phil Stutz. Elise lives in Los Angeles with her husband, Rob, and their sons, Max and Sam.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | All right. |
| 0:00.4 | I just recorded the podcast conversation that I did with Elise Luna. |
| 0:07.4 | And I hope I'm pronouncing her last name correctly. |
| 0:11.3 | I have like severe anxiety around mispronouncing people's names and also like mispronouncing |
| 0:18.3 | words in general. |
| 0:20.3 | Um, when I wrote side note, when I wrote my first book, |
| 0:24.5 | my editor was like, you have this like whole world of like Heatherisms or a dictionary. And it's like |
| 0:33.0 | this weird work that I had probably because I was overcompensating for learning disabilities as a child. |
| 0:40.5 | But when I when I speak, sometimes I get very anxious. |
| 0:45.3 | Like I'm saying someone's name incorrectly. |
| 0:47.3 | Like I'm literally staring at their name. |
| 0:49.1 | I will listen to their name on a podcast over and over and over and over again. |
| 0:53.5 | And I'm like closing my eyes. I'm writing |
| 0:55.5 | out phonetically. And then I just like get so nervous. Anywho, I'm going to do commentary on this |
| 1:02.6 | conversation that I had with her, but I want to read her bio. Elise is a writer, an editor. She's |
| 1:07.5 | the host of the podcast pulling the thread. She's the author of the New York Times |
| 1:12.7 | bestselling book on our best behavior, The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to |
| 1:18.5 | be Good, where she examines how cultural conditioning and ancient paradigms shape women's lives |
| 1:26.2 | and what it takes to move from goodness to true wholeness. |
| 1:32.0 | Previously, Elise served as the CCO, the chief content officer at Goop. |
| 1:40.4 | We are all familiar with Goop, where she co-hosted the Goop podcast, produced the Goop Lab Netflix series, and oversaw the brand's books, magazines, and editorial strategy. |
| 1:53.4 | Before that, she worked as an editor at Lucky Magazine and Ghost wrote several bestseller books for public figures. |
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