Welcome to UnFuck Your Brain. The only podcast that teaches you how to use psychology, feminism, and coaching to rewire your brain

and get what you want in life.

And now here's your host, Harvard Law School grad, Feminist Rockstar, and Master Coach,

Kara Loyenthyle.

Hello my chickens, so I am just back from a week out of town. I went to Nashville and then I

went to New Orleans. And some of you may know I lived in New Orleans for two years back when I was clerking.

So it's always kind of wild to go there and remember that time in my life when things were so different for me.

It's really kind of in keeping with the theme of the series. The other thing I love about New Orleans is that it is such a kind of hedonistic, playful place. I of course think there's a time for buckling down and getting shit done and delayed gratification,

all of that good work epic stuff that I teach you guys.

But there's also a place for play and mystery and magic and farce you know life is not just about

being as productive as possible and I think sometimes we get a little fixated on that

in the self-development world I mean of, I teach that we want to be conscious

and how we consume things and be aware of when we're using substances

or activities to buffer our emotions,

but I also think that there's kind of a human impulse towards

breaking free and a little bit of chaos and hedonism. And that's something to be mindful of and maybe constrain and considered but I don't think it's something to be completely denied or stamped out.

I think sometimes those desires are our way of surrendering to and making peace with the ultimate

truth that most of what happens outside of us in our life is not in our control

right I don't think our work is to try to control the world.

Our work is to learn how to discern what we can and can't control.

And most of us have it backwards, right?

We're constantly trying to control things that we can't control, like the exact size and shape of our bodies forever and aging and other people's behavior and random chance that seems unfair.

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