113: How Do I Help My Kid Deal with Unfairness?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting

Dr. Lisa Damour/Good Trouble Productions

Kids & Family, Mental Health, Parenting, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 720 Ratings

🗓️ 4 April 2023

⏱️ 27 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

From not getting into a desired college to not making a team - how do we help kids process unfairness? A dad writes in asking for help when his high school junior loses the National Honors Society presidency to a classmate known for online posts about drinking. Dr. Lisa and Reena discuss how to help kids come to terms with unfairness and privilege as they play out in school, sports, and leadership positions. Dr. Lisa reminds parents of the importance of helping kids develop the capacity to tolerate - and grow from - emotional discomfort. AVAILABLE NOW: The Emotional Lives of Teenagers by Dr. Lisa Damour. Available at www.DrLisaDamour.com and everywhere books are sold. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hi, I'm Rina Ninean and this is Ask Lisa, the Psychology of Parenting Podcast.
0:10.8	It's a podcast to help parents better understand their kids.
0:14.5	Dr. Lisa DeMore, a psychologist with three decades of experience, and the author of three
0:20.0	New York Times best-selling parenting books
0:22.3	takes your questions.
0:23.7	Both of us are moms ourselves,
0:25.6	and we're eager to hear from you.
0:27.2	So send us your questions to Ask Lisa at Dr.Lisadamore.com
0:31.5	and join our community by following us
0:33.5	on Instagram, Facebook, LinkedIn, and Twitter
0:36.8	at Ask Lisa Podcast.
0:39.8	Episode 113. How do I help my kid deal with unfairness?
0:47.4	Okay, it's that time of year where people are starting to finally find out where they got into
0:52.5	college, a little bit of heartbreak, a little bit
0:55.6	of excitement. It can go so many different directions. And I don't know. I just feel like the whole
0:59.9	process can be so unfair, Lisa. Oh, it's brutal, Rena. I will tell you, over a year out from it.
1:06.4	Glad to have a break before we enter it again. It's hard. It's hard. You know, this issue of unfairness never
1:13.0	leaves you. It carries well into adulthood when you see people getting promoted that you're
1:17.7	wondering, how did they get that? But how do we help our kids deal with unfairness when you know
1:23.7	something's happened? We got this letter from a dad that really got to us. It says,
1:29.2	Dear Dr. Lisa, my daughter just received news that she was not chosen to be an officer of the
1:33.5	National Honor Society. While she doesn't expect to win at everything, and we've discussed
	...

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