I'm Major Jackson and this is the slowdown.

And this is the slowdown. Growing up in response to some slight,

my family members often uttered the phrase,

I'll forgive, but I'll never forget,

which means they wished not to toss away lessons about the potential cruelty of people

in their own vulnerability.

For years, I've mulled over that phrase.

Personally, I want to transcend rising anger whenever harm is recalled.

That is, I attempt to summon my better self in reaction to hurt done to me.

I want to keep my life drama-free, unfettered by life's slings and arrows.

And people typically view me as a chill person.

Forgiveness allows me to stay on brand, but easier said than done, right?

I've been wounded by gossip, by careless partners, insecure coworkers, and generally spiteful people.

In each instance, I've wanted to follow this advice of a friend.

He likes to keep fresh what others have done to him because, as he said, it's the engine to my success, the best revenge there is.

I never took to the attitude of I'll show them. It

concedes that those people, people who did not think enough of me to take care of my feelings are still in my life in an unhealthy manner

subconsciously controlling my actions.

My success is not going to suddenly prove me worthy of

love in their eyes. Will they have thought better of that moment when they

scarred me? Maybe. Will they think me more intelligent than

they initially granted? Possibly. But truth is, I am healed when I no longer care to have their acceptance or validation.

...