Hello my beautiful people welcome back to the moments podcast last time we talked I was in a car and I was driving to Jacksonville and today I'm laying in my bed. I can't seem to find my recorder so I'm hitting you guys with my voice

memos again this is how easy it is to start a podcast just whip out your

voice memos yeah you got to edit the audio quite a bit, but anyways, I don't know what we're

going to talk about today. I went to therapy about 30 minutes ago. It was so good for my brain.

I do have to say my brain in general has been doing a little bit

better because I've been home and when I'm stable and I'm home my problems

disappear a little bit because I can breathe easily which is I don't even know how to

explain it it's just when I'm go go go go my brain is always on catch-up mode

so my therapist told me I need to stop saying that because it's not going to get any better if I keep saying that.

But it was always on catch-up mode.

So I was always like if I was on a trip I would get back from that trip and be like,

okay, I got to make up for those days. I was gone.

And because of work I was traveling a lot and yes while I was working while I was traveling

Not to the extent that I work when I'm home and I honestly want to deep dive into this for a little bit of a second. I know that those of you guys who listen to the podcast are very kind people and you're not me pants up in my d. I'm saying I don't do anything. And I know that I don't need to justify it to anyone, but like, I'd be on my grind. Anyways, I'm not even getting into it. It's really not worth my time. People are just mean sometimes. But I don't have to explain myself to anyone and that's something that I learned in therapy today. Now what we're going to get into this

whole episode I want to talk about love but my therapist told me that I clearly have some like

emotional childhood trauma that I always feel the need to either justify

like what I do or who I am or like let myself be the put of the joke and like make fun

of myself before I give people the chance to do so.

And I think part of the reason I do this is because I got bullied so bad in middle school

for doing yoga and just for like talking about to

about mental health and even now having my job title be like an influencer

is so freaking ridiculous and I'm already about to do it but like old people make fun

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