A note that today's episode discusses suicide and suicidal ideation.

If you or someone you know needs help,

the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available by dialing the number 988 24 hours a day. I'm Major Jackson and this is the slowdown.

I'm Major Jackson and this is the slowdown. I cannot fully explain the sadness that seeped into my bones in my teenage years, probably

part biological, hormones and all, and part natural reaction to seismic shifts in my family life.

The recent death of my stepfather returned me to those years.

My life seemed so hard back then, navigating a parent's addiction and another's callousness, navigating

academic and social pressures, and an environment where fatal harm arrived to young boys my age, to my friends,

with little options and no social safety net. It scares me to share this, but my

attempted suicide made in reaction to it all was a desperate plea for help.

I never said it, but how many times did I think

I didn't ask to be born.

The day after, I began my journey to love life more and more each day.

The miracle of my existence dawns on me each morning that I open my eyes.

I gather many poets like me, write poems to embrace their cells, to honor their distinct presence on earth.

Poems buttress me against the hurt and the harm and the uncertainty of life itself.

I fear that the global conflicts where witnessing are negatively impacting the health

and mental well-being of people who are susceptible to the frailty of this moment.

I read poetry profusely during times like these.

I need heart-affirming art in my life against the obsessive

destruction of human life. Today's poem says from the day of our first breath

we humans matter.

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