Oh, it's chucking it down out there again.

Want some Mauam Pimbles? Mmm, so zingly. Like a lightning storm in your cheeks. Tingling like thunderbolts on your tongue. And a 200% chance of mouth watering tastequakes. Chew Nado incoming! With the zingly, tingly taste of Mauam Pimbles, it's easy to choose fun chew Mowam. Good morning. Three minutes after ten is the time. How much money have you wasted in the last couple of years, do you think? I was looking at some of our TV subscriptions last night. I'm convinced that I've either done it while drunk, or the kids have been signing me up for stuff without telling me. They've found some way of accessing my account details, or maybe they've... I mean, it's not difficult.

If we've signed up for one account, would they be able to copy the details from that? I've got a Nintendo Switch account. I haven't played my Nintendo Switch for about 18 months. But there they are. Taking a few quid out of the old account every month. And yeah, all right, they do actually email about it, and I do kind of ignore it and think, I must get around to cancelling that.

But I... So, how much have you wasted?

In Pan, do you buy anything stupid during the pandemic? We bought a massive paddling pool. In retrospect, we're unlikely to get a lot of use out of that. During the pandemic, it seemed like a great idea. Did it pay for itself? Possibly. We bought a kayak. I think we might get back into the kayaking when the weather improves slightly.

But if we don't, that's a few quid we've wasted there. Wasted a few quid on a kayak.

Probably shouldn't still be subscribing to my PPE, to my PPE, to my Nintendo Switch.

It's a Freudian slip. What about you? What's the biggest waste of money you've made?

Should we do it this way round? Will we get told off by the grown-ups? If we completely change our plans for the programme at four minutes after 10 in the morning and instead of having a very serious conversation about 8.7 billion pounds wasted apparently or at least written off by this government. It's fiscally responsible. You say what you like about the Tories. You can trust them with your money. That's just shy of five billion quid that's gone on fraud and just shy of 10 billion quid that's gone on snide PPE that either can't be used, won't be used or shouldn't be used. Should we just do it that way around rather than getting angry about the waste of our money? Unless, of course, there was a magic money tree all along, in which case you'd have to feel sorry for whoever it was that was castigated for talking about magic money trees. And what's the biggest waste of money you've undertaken in the last couple of years? I'm just trying to think. Are there any standout ones? Was there anything that we all did during lockdown?

That are, looking back now, we probably would have been better keeping our hands in our pockets, not not spending the money on stuff like that.

I don't think we, I think we've got to do it the grown-up way around. But let's keep that bubbling away in the background.

The kayak, no, the paddling pool premium. There you go. You've got to love an alliteration, haven't you? The paddling pool premium there you go you got a love and alliteration haven't you the paddling pool premium is what we will call it a slogan almost as meaningless as leveling up

which we'll get onto a little later in the program what was your paddling pool premium so you go from

p p p p p p p p p p p p oh Anyone would think that I thought about this stuff before I started talking.

The paddling pool premium is what we wasted our money on.

50 quid there, 10 quid here.

8.7 billion pounds, ladies and gentlemen, is what the government has apparently wasted on PPE.

But don't take my word for it.

Have a look at the newspapers.

Even the Daily Mail manages to take a day off from cheerleading for Boris Johnson

and putting this story about our money, your money, taxpayers' money, they usually call it, don't they?

I wonder whether all those weird think tanks will be up in arms today.

...