106: Should I Give the Sex Talk if I Think I'm Already Too Late?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Parenting

Dr. Lisa Damour/Good Trouble Productions

Kids & Family, Mental Health, Parenting, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 720 Ratings

🗓️ 14 February 2023

⏱️ 29 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Parents should view sexual development as a facet of overall healthy development, but that's not always easy to do. Dr. Lisa and Reena unpack the concept of “the sex talk" and Lisa explains that, instead of a single sit-down, conversations about physical intimacy should be short, start earlier than expected, and happen over time. Reena asks how parents can find openings to discuss sex when it can be such an awkward topic, and whether parents should really expect (or even want) for their kids to be open about their sex lives. Lisa describes how different cultures take different approaches to their kids' emerging love lives, and what the Dutch get right about sex. Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and LinkedIn @AskLisaPodcast, @LDamour, @ReenaNinan Checkout Dr. Lisa’s website for more resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com/ Ask Lisa is produced by: Www.GoodTroubleProductions.com

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is Ask Lisa, a podcast to help people understand the psychology of parenting.
0:10.0	Psychologist Dr. Lisa DeMore, author of two New York Times best-selling parenting books, takes your questions.
0:17.0	And I'm co-host, Rina Ninan, a journalist and mom of two.
0:24.2	Some of what we talk about comes from raising children ourselves.
0:28.2	Most of the time, I'll be getting answers to your parenting questions.
0:33.1	So send your questions to Ask Lisa at Dr.Lisademore.com.
0:38.0	Episode 106, should I give the sex talk if I think I'm already too late?
0:44.8	Well, happy Valentine's Day.
0:46.7	Happy Valentine's Day, Rina.
0:50.1	It's like a love-hate relationship with this holiday, right?
0:55.1	But can I tell you, it's even more painful when you have a teen, especially if the kids around them have significant others and they don't. It's true. I feel like Valentine's Day is like
1:01.0	sweet for kids who do have relationships and extremely painful for kids who do not. It just sort of
1:06.4	puts in their face that they are single for the moment at least. And can I say a moment of panic for parents who do have kids who are in relationships?
1:14.9	Because what do you do if you haven't really had that sex talk yet?
1:20.0	And we got this letter, Lisa.
1:21.5	I thought it was perfect for us to talk about on Valentine's Day.
1:24.7	Dear Lisa, I have a question that I would love help on. My 16-year-old
1:28.4	daughter just had her first boyfriend and breakup after three months. I wasn't ready for it
1:33.5	when it started, but got on board because he seemed so sweet, and now he just broke up with her.
1:39.1	She was initially heartbroken, but seems to be bouncing back well. I recently came across
1:43.6	a text that made me realize
1:44.9	they were physical before I had managed to have that conversation with her. How do I bring up
	...

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