Welcome to the Very Well Mind podcast. We've interviewed over 100 authors, experts, entrepreneurs, athletes, musicians, and others to help you learn strategies to care for your mental health.

This episode is hosted by psychotherapist and bestselling author Amy Morin. Now let's get into the episode.

Okay. Every Friday, I share a quick mental strength strategy that will fix the thoughts, feelings, and actions that can hold you back in life. Today we're talking about how to see vulnerability

as a strength rather than a weakness.

Vulnerability comes in many forms. It might be about telling your boss that you made a mistake

when you're afraid that you might look stupid or there might even be some consequences. Or it

might involve telling your friend that actually you're not fine. You're having a really hard time lately.

Vulnerability is about opening up and it's also about taking a risk. After all, you might get hurt. It takes courage to tell

someone that you're struggling. What if they minimize your feelings or what if they tell someone

something that you wanted to keep private? What if you tell someone something awful

that happened and they don't believe you? Or what if you work really hard on something and people

laugh at you? Even sharing good news can be tough. What if you tell someone how proud you are that you

just got a promotion? And they respond with something snarky like, well, it's about time you

moved up another rung on the ladder. Those things sting. Those moments happen to all of us, though,

if we're willing to be vulnerable. Every time we get hurt, we're tempted to build up a more

protective armor around ourselves. We make rules for ourselves that are meant to keep us from getting hurt

again. Here are a few examples of rules you might create for yourself. I'll avoid talking about

myself so no one asks any questions and discovers that I had a messed up childhood. I'll work

extra hard to do more work than everybody else. Then my boss won't see that I'm not as smart as other people. I'll act like I'm not interested, so no one knows that actually I'm just scared to try. I'll make jokes about my weight before anyone else can, so I'll look like I'm laughing with people, and they won't look like they're laughing at me. I'll start to cry when my partner talks about something uncomfortable.

Then I won't have to talk about our problems.

I'll stay quiet in meetings, so no one thinks I'm stupid.

We all have rules that we've created as protective armor,

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