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Congratulations with Chris D'Elia

104. Only God Can Hold Me

Congratulations with Chris D'Elia

Chris D'Elia

Society & Culture, Comedy, Tv & Film

4.826.5K Ratings

🗓️ 22 January 2019

⏱️ 63 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

On today's show, Chris talks about Ja Rule. Also discussed: North Face jackets, Zack Doncovio and chocolate milk, white guy names, the Fyre Festival documentaries, Billy McFarland, and Kool Keith. Plus, we do Missed Connections. Tweet your questions and spread the love using the hashtag #congratulationspod on Twitter and everywhere else, and don't forget to rate, review, listen on iTunes, Google, Spotify, Stitcher, or your favorite podcast app. For the true babies: Merchandise: https://store.chrisdelia.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chrisdelia/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/chrisdelia Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/chrisdeliaofficial/ YouTube Subscribe: http://bit.ly/2rA0sI0 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hey guys, what's up? It is me. And hi, it's time for episode 104 now. Did I do the ads?

0:24.7

Yeah, I did. Now, is it episode 104? Yes. Now, do I know episode 104? Yes. How do I know it's episode 104? Because it says episode 104 on the card right here. Now, however, does it say episode 103 because one player forgot to write 104 and then cross out the three and then handwrite with pencil for it like he's going to for a great yes. So is that how I know yes. Is that how he's one part? Yes. And it's all good. Yes. Am I a little bit? I know.

0:54.7

Yeah, but it's okay in the grand scheme of things. So anyway, my baby's what's up? It's episode one oh something. And you know what's up because I'm back from the road. Now, I was gone for way too long. Was I gone for six days? Yeah, was that too long? Yeah, is it a whole week almost yes. Was it snowing too much everywhere? Of course it was. Was it rain snowing? Yeah. Do people say that they love rain? And it makes me upset. Yeah, because it's so inconvenient because they don't love the rain because really they're inside all the time. Yeah.

1:24.7

Do they go outside and they run in the rain? No. Are they the school ties character screaming up at a building like coward? No, they're not doing that. Your life isn't the movies. So you don't like rain. So stay inside. Um, but yeah, anyway, no, I was in let's see. Boulder. Colorado Boulder, Colorado, Colorado Springs. And then also I was in Utah for a little bit. One of the only clubs I realized I thought it was the only club I was doing this follow the leader tour. But it was.

1:54.7

I didn't it wasn't because I did Houston as well. That's just how it worked out but. So shoot out to that club. Utah is awesome wise guys over there Keith Stubbs at Wise Guys. Hang out with some cool comics, Jay Whitaker and Shane Smith who has tattoos all over his face, which is crazy. And. But, yeah, great guys we had a good time. We went to fucking Denny's we went to the village in dude. We were do we day we aid diner. We went to a diner. And we ate.

2:24.7

fucking food late at night and we laughed and we made fun of each other because

2:28.6

that's what it's like being a guy and it's awesome and it had nothing to do

2:32.4

with Meltox, this is a T.A. in our city and our city, it just had to do with

2:37.5

having fun, okay? And my tour manager Zach, Don Covio, he fucking ordered too much

2:46.7

chocolate milk. That guy orders so much fucking chocolate milk. Listen, he's

2:54.0

35 or 36. He orders chocolate milk like he's seven. He orders chocolate milk

2:59.9

like his family is like, all right, enough chocolate milk, you got to drink

3:03.0

regular shit now, but he's an adult. Do the guy can't not order chocolate

3:09.6

milk. He loves chocolate milk. I just love chocolate milk man. We had a

3:14.9

darned be like, you got chocolate milk? I can't understand the way it makes me

3:18.6

feel when an adult orders chocolate milk over and over again. If you want, if

3:22.5

you have a hanker in fine, but the guy's just like, he'll be, he'll get two

3:27.5

times in a day. The fuck it's chocolate milk two times in a day. And he's just

3:34.8

like, and then, and then, and then Shane, the other comedian was like, man, you

3:39.5

really blow up like that. You can get a lot of fucking, you get fat, you know, all

3:43.0

the sugar and the chocolate. He's like, oh, yeah. What do you mean? Oh, yeah. It's

3:48.3

fucking chocolate and milk, bro. And then he was like, trying to be healthy or

...

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