Good morning, afternoon, or evening, and welcome to the bloody disgusting network.

The passage of time will now bring you to something strange, unique, and idiosyncratic.

Have a good time.

There are certain rules that one must abide by in order to successfully survive a horror.

Do you want to die, Sydney?

It's your turn to scream, asshole. From the streets of Woodsboro.

Back to the street. From the streets of Woodsboro.

Back to the streets of Woodsboro.

We are Halloween.

I don't want to see a face up close I just want to get the grades see I'm in

damage control but I'm afraid that I might explode

open up on my tour I might explode.

Happy Tors. Happy Tors. Happy Thanksgiving?

Trick-treateders, dreamers, campers, and suspects?

I'm your host for today, Michael Myers-Roffman back from

Hadnfield, Illinois and here in Woodsboro, California where things are decidedly

quiet. We'd be suspicious but hey it's the holidays and the only

slicing and dicing going down right now are with turkeys, ham, and meatloaf.

That's a that's a thing meatloaf, right?

Whatever, we're rolling with it.

After all, we've got a smorgasbord of an episode for you.

Instead of a round of tricks and treats,

...