10 Reasons We Isolate

WITH LOVE, DANIELLE

Danielle LaPorte

Self-improvement, Education

4.9 • 697 Ratings

🗓️ 6 December 2023

⏱️ 19 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Let’s talk about all the shades of isolation. Chosen aloneness. Solitude. Go it on your own. Hangin’ out the ‘do not disturb’ sign. Pressin’ the HARD PAUSE BUTTON.

Isolation, like everything else in life, has shadows and light. I think this conversation is important because, unexamined, it can turn into nervous system dysregulation. Darkness, disassociation, sadness.

So let’s hold it up into the light. In Episode #93 of WITH LOVE, DANIELLE I’m sharing:

10 reasons we isolate––why we pull back from people, places and experiences.
What fear-driven isolation does to us, and what heart centered, healthy isolating looks like.
One way that I’ve created conditions of healing for myself, and tips to seek out safe spaces for community (even if you’re reluctant… like I used to be)
Why we need to acknowledge the fatigue that comes from playing by someone else’s rules (hint: it frees up our life force)
How showing up imperfectly (please let go of perfectionism) is part of the of the isolation solution

Retreating is sometimes the absolute necessity––wise. And other times, it’s a slope to sadsville. I just want you to know that you can pour light on the situation, no matter what it is.

Mentioned in this episode:

THE NOURISH SYSTEM, an 8-week self-study program to help you create conditions of healing for yourself. Here’s where you get it!
Your Love Note for Ep #93 is a poem by me, “Early Intimacies” (sign up to get your printable 💖)
Get my new (free) SACRED WEEKENDS email two Fridays a month SIGN UP HERE. Think: girlfriend vibe meets deep spirituality.
Connect with me on IG! I love Q’s from our community! xo

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Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello, my loves. Today I want to talk about isolation.
0:08.5	Isolation. Chosen, aloneness, solitude, solo, go in it on your own. Do not disturbness.
0:19.4	Yeah? I have 10 reasons why we isolate.
0:24.6	The reason I think this conversation is important
0:27.1	is because there's a shadow side and a light side to isolation.
0:31.9	I mean, shadow and light for everything.
0:34.4	But isolation unexamined can turn into nervous system dysregulation. It can turn into darkness,
0:46.4	disassociation, just, you know, overall sadness. So why don't we examine it? All right, let's do it.
0:52.3	First reason that we isolate. Shame. We feel embarrassed,
0:58.2	filled with shame, something to hide. Let me give you the definition of shaming. You know,
1:03.9	I love my definitions of words. Here we go. A painful feeling of humiliation or distress caused by the consciousness of wrong or
1:15.5	foolish behavior. I mean, wrong or foolish is a relative term, right? But a loss of respect or
1:21.8	esteem, dishonor, usually for ourselves, a person, action, or situation that brings that loss of respect or honor.
1:30.1	A regrettable or unfortunate situation or action.
1:33.1	And again, regrettable and unfortunate is a relative term, and that can be shifted through perception.
1:40.0	We'll unpack shame another day, but today, the clarity here that I'm offering is that one of the reasons we withdraw, pull back, isolate is because of shame.
1:51.7	Two, we haven't yet found safe spaces to share our story.
1:58.2	Haven't yet, meaning the spaces are out there, found, meaning it is our job to create conditions
2:05.2	of healing for ourselves, and we have to seek out, intentionally seek out, safe, honoring,
2:12.7	respecting, compassionate, loving spaces, groups, community containers, also known as relationships,
2:22.5	to share our story.
2:24.4	Story is illusion, is truth, is lived experience that needs to be witness, shared, held.
	...

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