10: How Do I Parent When I Feel Like I’m Drowning?

Ask Lisa: The Psychology of Raising Tweens & Teens

Dr. Lisa Damour/Reena Ninan

Mental Health, Kids & Family, Health & Fitness, Parenting

4.7 • 824 Ratings

🗓️ 13 October 2020

⏱️ 32 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Parents are faced with new pressures under Covid-19, and many of us are barely holding it together. When does having personal struggles translate into bad parenting? While it's important to be honest with our kids, Lisa explains what’s not okay for your kids to see and experience as you are working through a difficult time. Adding to the pressure, many parents have lost their supportive networks. We no longer see other parents during school pick-up or on the sidelines of soccer games. It may be time to find our new “soccer sideline” groups. Reena also talks about her fear of winter coming in a brainstorming session about how we'll cope. Lisa explains the research on how having breaks to look forward to can help your mental health. Lisa & Reena also announce a new weekly segment called “For Children Everywhere.” One charity will be spotlighted each week for listeners who would like to donate. This week's organization, "Women's Bean Project" is based in Lisa’s hometown of Denver, Colorado. It helps unemployed women return to the work force: https://www.womensbeanproject.com/ Email your questions for Dr. Lisa to: asklisa@drlisadamour.com Additional resources: https://www.drlisadamour.com See acast.com/privacy for privacy and opt-out information.

Transcript

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0:00.0	This is Ask Lisa, a podcast to help people understand the psychology of parenting, now in the midst of a pandemic.
0:12.9	Psychologist Dr. Lisa DeMore, author of two New York Times bestselling parenting books, takes your questions.
0:19.5	And I'm co-host, Rina Ninan, a journalist and mom of two.
0:23.7	Some of what we talk about comes from raising children ourselves. Most of the time, I'll be getting
0:28.5	answers to your parenting questions. So send your questions to ask Lisa at dr.lisademore.com.
0:36.0	In this episode, we talk about how to parent when you feel like you're drowning,
0:40.0	and the world is an uncertain place. Well, you never know what to expect these days, Lisa.
0:48.7	No, it's always one of those, I kind of brace myself when I open email or like when I grab my phone
0:54.0	to like
0:54.3	start scrolling on social media. There is this sense of like, okay, what am I going to find?
0:59.2	Yeah. You know, I always feel like all my life I've been swimming like against the current and now
1:04.3	I'm just like riding the wave here and seeing where it takes me. But sometimes you just get tired of
1:08.2	not knowing what's coming, right? Yeah, yeah.
1:11.9	And also feeling like the need to supervise.
1:15.2	Like I feel like I have to sort of supervise what's going on in the news.
1:19.2	And I guess I've felt that way off and on, you know, but a lot these days.
1:25.8	I feel like I'm somehow responsible for monitoring.
1:28.0	What is happening?
1:28.8	Well, because you want to know and you feel like minute by minute anything could change,
1:32.2	but I also feel like I've got to set some boundaries because it just kind of takes over.
1:37.7	You know, in this sense, you know, I'm talking about water and drowning.
1:40.4	One of the letters we got it, and I want to get right to.
	...

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