$1.8 Billion Slush Fund Has J6ers Playing Victim & Trump Creeps on Coast Guard Grad | “Weird Al” Yankovic

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Comedy Central

News, Daily News, Comedy

4.2 • 14.2K Ratings

🗓️ 22 May 2026

⏱️ 32 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Trump's $1.8 billion slush fund for his allies is here, and the line is already forming: the Proud Boys, the MyPillow guy, George Santos, and even the lectern guy! The Department of Justice insists $1.8 billion is an appropriate amount for the fund, and Ronny Chieng does the math to figure out how much money each eligible American will get. Plus, Trump couldn't stop gawking at hot, muscular men at the Coast Guard Academy graduation ceremony, and the president broke the news that he'll probably be a little too busy to attend Don Jr.'s wedding. American history is complicated, filled with milestones eroded by backlash and triumphs marred by moral failure. But there's still one moment in this nation's 250-year history that brings all of us together: the 1992 Olympic Basketball Dream Team! Boom-shaka-laka! “Weird Al” Yankovic, Grammy and Emmy-award winning comedy music legend, talks to Ronny before heading out on his “Bigger and Weirder 2026” tour. The two look back on Yankovic’s decades-spanning career, from learning the accordion at his parents behest, to becoming the biggest-selling comedy recording artist in history with a discography that functions as a time capsule of pop culture. He also discusses his songwriting process for parodies and pastiches of musical style, why he likes to get permission before parodying an artist’s song, the challenges of parodying in 2026, and his personal quest to make polka sexy again. -- The Daily Show airs weeknights at 11/10c on Comedy Central. Stream full episodes on Paramount+ Follow TDS: YouTube, TikTok, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	You're listening to Comedy Central.
0:06.5	From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central
0:10.2	is America's only source for news.
0:13.9	This is The Daily Show with your host, Ronnie Timm.
0:18.5	Thank you. Ronnie Chang.
0:38.0	Welcome to a daily show. I'm Roni. We've got so much to talk about tonight.
0:39.9	Donald Trump makes crime pay.
0:42.4	We look back at America's One Good Day,
0:44.7	and Trump honors the class of 2026 with an inspiring message of horniness.
0:48.3	And later on, the legendary Weird Al Yankovic will be here.
0:52.8	So let's get into the headlines.
0:57.0	First off, it's graduation season,
1:03.0	and I'd just like to take a moment to shout out all the graduates watching.
1:08.0	Welcome to the real world. It sucks.
1:13.5	But yesterday, Trump gave the commencement speech at the Coast Guard Academy, and he had a
1:17.9	different message for graduates. And that message was Daddy Likey.
1:23.2	We also have the only cadet who earned a perfect score on every single fitness system. Wow, this guy must be something. I think we'll have to invite him up. I want to check it out. Thomas, get up here, please. I want to see. I want to check him out. Wow. Look at this guy. Look at the muscles in this guy.
1:46.8	Just hit him on the shoulder.
1:47.5	I hurt my hand.
1:48.5	It's like hitting a rock.
1:52.3	Well, we wanted Trump to stop harassing women.
1:57.1	I guess he found a loophole.
	...

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