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The Mark Groves Podcast

#095: How To Talk About Race with Dr. Alexandra Solomon

The Mark Groves Podcast

Mark Groves

Society & Culture, Relationships

4.95K Ratings

🗓️ 22 June 2020

⏱️ 79 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

After the murder of George Floyd and the protests across the globe that have followed, I have received hundreds of questions on the topic. The question that so many of you asked is ‘how do I have hard conversations about race?’ For many of us, we need to find ways to engage with our partners, family, friends and colleagues on issues that might be completely outside of our previous experience. Now is the time to step into the work of not only educating ourselves on racism but also leading these conversations effectively so that we can take others on the journey toward anti-racism too. That’s why I am bringing you an extended episode with Dr. Alexandra Solomon to answer this question in great detail. Dr. Solomon talks us through the 7 steps required to have conversations on racism that will help us build deeper connection, empathy and trust and ultimately help us in building a more loving society. Follow Rachel Rodgers https://www.instagram.com/rachrodgersesq/ Find Professor Ibram X Kendi at https://www.ibramxkendi.com/ Read Dr. Alexandra Solomon’s article here https://www.psychologytoday.com/nz/blog/loving-bravely/202006/how-talk-your-white-male-partner-about-race Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands

Transcript

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0:00.0

What's up? What's up? What's up? Welcome to another episode of the Mark Groves podcast.

0:14.7

Yeah, no. Hard conversations are hard, aren't they? I think that goes without saying. That's why we avoid them.

0:22.6

That's why we avoid them. You know, I made a rule when I got out of my relationship at 27.

0:29.5

I was dating a woman for five years and we got engaged. When I got out of the relationship,

0:35.0

I remember thinking to myself, like, how did I get here?

0:38.9

How did I get to a place where I felt so disconnected from myself?

0:42.2

I felt like I hadn't been myself in years.

0:44.8

Like, truthfully, like I was just a ghost making decisions and autopiloting life.

0:53.1

I woke up to the fact that I wasn't paying attention.

0:58.0

And I made a rule because I said, how did I get here? And I thought, I avoided every hard

1:04.5

conversation. So I made a rule that I would have every conversation I didn't want to have

1:10.4

because those are the ones that

1:11.8

mattered. And that was one of the hardest commitments I ever made. And of course, you know,

1:18.7

you get into the nuances of, well, I know I need to have that conversation, but I'm just

1:24.9

going to wait a couple weeks. And I remember I was dating this girl and I didn't want to

1:30.0

break up with it. I didn't want to have the conversation. So I'm like, I'll just wait a couple weeks.

1:34.5

And I remember when I broke up with her a couple weeks later, she said to me, you knew this three

1:39.4

weeks ago, but you allowed me to fall for you more, feel for you more.

1:46.7

And I remember I broke down that night thinking about how out of integrity that was,

1:52.3

that I caused this other person pain because I was afraid to have a conversation.

1:57.6

And that's why I added a little caveat to the rule.

2:02.2

Have every conversation I don't want to have and have at the moment I feel the need to have it,

...

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