You're listening to the HMS podcast, brought to you by MMPGuns.com, your most trusted online marketplace for firearms, ammunition, and accessories. It's John Homer here for the amazing people at the Core Institute. Getting used to chronic pain is something that we can all find ourselves doing and not realize we're doing it. And I needed four procedures. I had a lot going on. Two shoulder replacements. And yes, at my age, even two hip replacements. But you know what? I'm better today than I've been in 20 years. And now I'm back. Basketball, pain free. Running, pain free. Throwing a baseball or football, pain free. And I can box again. It's exciting because I look forward to the things I love. You don't have to live with pain anymore. Go to the core institute.com. All right, HMS podcast time again. I'll let you know where to go for some great comedy in the Valley this week. Head downtown to stand up live Thursday to see Ashley Gavin and Stephen Ho on Friday and Saturday. The Desert Ridge Improv up north features Aaron Weber all week long and East Siders. The Tempey Improv has Mikey Winfield on Thursday and Ashley Gavin finishes her week in Tempe on Friday and Saturday.

For the complete lineups and for tickets, go to standup live.com, desert ridgeimprob.com and Tempey Improv.

You thought that was funny.

Homebanks morning sickness. You were laughing like a hyena when he said it.

98.

What the hell it's wrong with you?

K-U-P-D.

Going back and forth, I have to apologize to a man named Burner Boy.

Burner has emailed me and told me his first concert.

We were talking about that earlier in the show. It says my first concert was Britney Spears at 15 with my mom. Uh, it was her whore face. That's no way to talk about your mother. Oh, Britney Spears, I see. Uh, she was grinding on a boa constrictor and rubbing her snooch on the backup dancer's faces.

I was rocking an awkward teenage boner all night.

I then responded to Burner Boy by saying, now, you tell that story that way, but you have to remember that your mom probably was a little extra moist, too, because no one likes to think

of their mothers as sexually alive.

You were 15.

She's probably 20 or 38, probably. She's still sexually active woman and people are right. 30. She could have been 30. You don't know. It's a very strong possibility of that. So she's in her 30s. She's still an active lady who gets turned on. She was at the sex show just like you. and he said, well, there it is, John. I'm going to drive off the side of South Mountain out. I'm like, we don't like to think of our mothers as human beings who had sex needs. And she was at the Britney Spears show just like you. And I said, while you were sitting there with that little bonner, he should have given over. I actually used the phrase, giving that little monkey a tap.

And then I laughed hysterically while I emailed back, and I'm like, that was too far.

I apologize. So I apologize, fella.

I know that was true of me and my dad the first time we watched Monsters Ball not knowing what that movie was

and I'm pretty sure that was the first time both of us acknowledged that we were in a room

together and both of us were hard and I blame my friend Colin for that movie review.

Are you being hard? Yes. He gave us the copy of the tape of a movie. You knew what you were in for. I had no idea. Oh, I thought you did. Monsters Ball was not even like, it was submitted to the academy way before it was in the public knowledge. And he was a movie reviewer. And he's like, you've got to see this. And he didn't tell me. He goes, this is a spectacular movie. It's going to win a ton of awards. And no one's heard of it yet, but it's coming out in a few weeks. And I'm like, oh, no one knew the sex scene or anything else. And my dad and I were, my mom was gone out of town or something. I don't remember. My dad and I were in the, in his place and sitting on the couch cowboy has there's

nothing on tv and i'm like colin give me a movie you want to watch it is billy bob thornton a guy from

...