This episode contains scenes which are not suitable for children and which some listeners may find distressing.

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I just accepted that. I was probably just going to die there. I didn't want to kill me. I didn't have any plans to run. I didn't think that because I was too afraid. I didn't know what I was going to do like. I didn't, I was just, I was knowing what I'd given up mentally and physically and emotionally. I'd had enough

out broken. They're taking everything from me. He had had a heart. He's had everything from me.

There's nothing. He literally he's had everything from me.

There's nothing Brian Kenny hasn't taken for me. He's had at all.

So I was just giving up, I just accepted the fact that I wasn't in control and

my family be like Jonathan or oily family next week probably

because I knew deep down I'd never be allowed to keep going on with that secret.

I knew that was too much. So I just thought I was going to die and end up in the field.

That's what he said he's going to put me. And he brought me to the field of the day is often.

I'm standing in the middle of the field and he's shooting off my head and he's shooting to the left

to me, he's shooting to the right man. And I'm standing there like glitzig,

I glitzigidigy with my arms by my sides.

And he's telling me, see how easy it is.

And he doesn't give her fuck, he's just real loud to go and constantly.

And he's pointing it at my face,

and going up like that, bang in the air.

And then putting the gun in my mouth,

like I could feel that at the back of my throat like

single barrel of shotgun put a handgun in my mouth in the shed.

You know it's like it's fucking horrible cut the top top of your mouth off and it shoves it in your mouth.

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