And now, here's the question.

Oh, la, bitches, good day to you and yours.

All right, a few days ago, we shared the story of a man who inexplicably peed on $10,000 worth of spam and Vienna sausages.

No one knows why.

But at any rate, the grocery store disposed of the canned goods.

I'm going to beg the question, but anybody know?

I mean, yes, or any way you could really tell?

Assuming that I sprayed down the cans, would there be any way to know that someone urinated on the packaging?

Now, in an entirely unrelated story, a different man recently went to court where he pleaded guilty to theft and burglary.

He was stealing inflatable pool toys

and then masturbating about me.

And again, no one knows why.

Apparently it's just this thing.

Now that's it.

That's when the question occurred,

would I rather eat a can of spam

and find out that someone had peed on it

or be chilling on my pool

and find out that someone

had masturbated on my floaty

you're picking number one there Mike

hell no

...