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Tell 'Em Steve Dave EP. 1-299

#049: Somebody Get Me A Doctor!

Tell 'Em Steve Dave EP. 1-299

TESD 1-299

Comedy

4.9614 Ratings

🗓️ 17 February 2021

⏱️ 93 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

Bry tussles with the grim reaper and lives to tell about it.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Hi, I'm Kevin Smith, and Red State comes out this October 19th, 17th anniversary of Clerks. But if you want to see it before then, I'm coming around your town, man. I'm on the road with the Red State USA tour. Come see me do a Q&A, come see the movie as well. Actually, see the movie. You've seen me do the Q&A. But this will be a different Q&A because it's following a screening of Red State movie. We were just debuted up at Sundance and whatnot.

0:02.2

I had a great time.

0:03.5

And we're bringing it to you a little sooner than October rather than waiting until then. If you want to see it ahead of time, come out and see it. Tour kicks off March 5th Radio City Music Hall. March 6th, Boston. March 8th, Chicago. March 9th, Minneapolis, March 10th, Michigan, Ann Arbor.

0:40.5

March 11th, Indianapolis, March 12th, the Midland Theater in Kansas, March 14th, Springfield, March 15th, Washington, March 22nd, Denver, March 24th, Madison, Wisconsin, March 26th, New Orleans. March 28th, Austin, Texas, March 29th, Atlanta, Georgia, April 4th, Seattle, April 9th. The tour ends, the Wiltern Theater, Los Angeles, California. So you can see us at any one of those stops along the way, come see Red State and have fun at the Q&A afterwards. I mean, the one in New York and L.A. will definitely be having cast and whatnot up on stage. The ones across the country, probably just be me. But I'll be as funny as I can. You can ask me anything about the time they threw me off the plane for being a big fat shit. So, come on out. If you want to help us out see Red State for all the information, go to

1:27.7

Cooper's Dell.com. C-O-O-P-E-R-S-D-E-L-L.com. You can see all the tour dates, click on one of those, buy some tickets, come out and see us. And if you can't afford to buy tickets right now, I know the global economy is pretty harsh. If you can't afford it, don't worry, man. we're going to be out in October.

1:24.8

You can kind of see us then.

1:26.0

And if you don't want to pay it to see it then, you know, BitTorrent. It'll be on BitTorrent pretty damn soon. So in any event, come help us out on the road. Red State USA Tour. Come see me and Red State. Coopersdell.com for all information. God doesn't love you.

2:03.6

Let's fear him. Hey, it's Brian.

2:04.6

I'm back.

2:05.6

Not 100%, but I'm back and that's all that matters.

2:09.6

And really what kept me going while I was in the hospital was the opportunity to come back and tell you about Adam

2:15.6

and Eve.com, of course. At Adameneve.com, you are going to get what? You're going to get 50% off almost everything. You're going to get three free DVDs. You're going to get free shipping. And I think that's it, right? Pretty sure that's it. But that's it? It's awesome. That's crazy. I don't even, I'm not even sure they're still in business to tell you the truth. I've been away for a while. But all you have to do is when you go to Adam and Eve.com is put in to the coupon code, T-E-S-D for Tell-M-Stive-Dave, and you're going to get all those sweet deals.

2:53.8

I have to say, Adam and Eve, they looked out for me while I was in the hospital.

2:57.8

They heard that I had a nearly not-existent sex drive.

3:02.9

They knew that someone as vivacious and bodacious as Walt would say as Suzanne could impossibly go,

3:10.5

you know, a couple weeks without having some sort of satisfaction.

3:14.4

So they hooked her up with all sorts of stuff, lubs and jellies and dildos and sex swings.

3:20.1

And, you know what?

3:22.8

I'm actually looking at it right now and it,

3:25.6

that stuff was not from Adam and Eve.

3:28.0

Uh, she actually met somebody named Adam and a chick named Eve on Craigslist and was

3:34.2

fucking them behind my back while I was in the hospital.

...

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