Transmitting from the Mojave Wilderness in Joshua Tree, California.

Now is the time for Desert Oracle Radio, the voice of the desert.

Night has fallen on our beloved desert.

Our landscape of mystery, the place without enough water for people.

And yet here we are.

Preparing the species for the inevitable gloomy colonies on Mars.

The Mars colonies will probably be something like airports, inside the airports, I mean, the terminals.

There will be no outside, not for you, not yet.

Maybe after we terraform Mars after many centuries, many centuries of lawsuits.

Meanwhile, for the rest of your life and probably for the rest of my life, probably the

lives of our children, Mars Colony 1 will be much like an airport terminal, probably like the Tom Bradley International Terminal in Los Angeles.

A few places to spend money and no going outside ever.

Of course, the billionaire class will be able to go outside and custom luxury branded Martian safari vehicles and spacesuits by Goop.

Have your financial advisor contact our concierge for scheduling.

Influencers with followings of at least 50 million Earth humans of the

proper demographics will be invited for live streamed write-alongs on a case-by-case basis.

If you would rather not have an influencer on your Martian safari, please have your law firm prepare the necessary paperwork before your non-refundable deposit is accepted.

If it turned out that I had a billion dollars sitting around

I think I'd want to stay

as quiet as possible

I think I would want to

stay out of the news cycle

...