One morning it's a Saturday so it's a weekend and I hear all of this this

commotion in the bathroom downstairs and I'm like like splashing and I'm like oh

God like one of the cats fell in the toilet or something like that so I go over I

rush over you know I don't want them to drown or anything like that and I pop

my head in and there is a large black wing sticking up out of the toilet and my

whole world kind of went sideways for a moment like I am not seeing this like

what am I looking at right now and for a moment I like I was just completely

stunned by this and then but then it like it dawned on me I'm like holy shit

there's a bird in the toilet and like I kind of freaked out I'm like I don't

want this thing to fly out and like come and get me or whatever so I go I put

that close the lid and I close the door to the bathroom and I step back and I'm

like holy shit like what do I do and then the total like the sheer weirdness of

this struck in the way that I was like how did that thing get in there because you

know like it's not like the door was open and this thing flew in and after like

after we finally sort of took care of the situation I did kind of come to

it's like a thinking like I suppose I could have come in through the vent pipe

but this would have met like this was like the vent pipes were you know it's you

know like two inches of pipe like like a like a diameter and for this thing to

have fallen in it would have had to like have squirmed downwards through like

50 feet of like tight PVC and then like however much of it is like because you

know like a toilet like the plumbing for the toilet that actually connects to

sort of like all of the drainage pipes like that's like six feet of standing

...