Welcome to Wheels Off, a show about the messy reality of the creative life.

I'm Rhett Miller.

You wake up in a cabin on top of a mountain.

It's cold outside and you see snow on the ground.

You decide to move over the mountain towards the west

where you hope it will be warmer.

You travel all day. At the peak of the mountain, you almost slide off. Fortunately for you, you roll well. An 18, and you nimbly cross the treacherous path leading over the peak of the

mountain. You make your way all the way down. When you get to the bottom, you find civilization of

sorts.

There is a building. It looks like an office building, in fact.

Inside of this building there are guards.

You confront these guards. They ask you for your identity.

Before you can answer, you realize that behind these guards floats a giant eyeball. And from this eyeball, extrude stalks at the end of each is a small eyeball.

On some of these stalks at the base, there are rings.

Again, you roll well and you realize that this is not just any floating eyeball.

This is a beholder.

And this is not just any beholder.

This is Xanathar, a beholder crime lord, famous throughout water deep. You should be terrified. But in reality, you're not because you know that this is an

alternate reality. This is Dungeons and Dragons. It's a game that we play in our minds.

We use words to tell stories, and these stories become, choose-your-own-adventure of sorts.

The dungeon master is in control of the situation, but he doesn't just make it up, usually,

off the top of his head, unless he is a really

...