019: Ask David — The Defiant Child: A Secret All Parents Should Know

Feeling Good Podcast | TEAM-CBT - The New Mood Therapy

David Burns, MD

Clinical, Therapy, Anxiety, Psychotherapy, Depression, Health & Fitness, Cognitive, Mentalhealth, Mental Health, Behavior, Education, Self-improvement, Psychology, Relationships, Addiction, Happiness, Personalgrowth

4.4 • 856 Ratings

🗓️ 16 January 2017

⏱️ 25 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

Can the EAR techniques help a listener deal more effectively with a defiant, oppositional child. Dr. Burns reveals a fantastically helpful secret that he and his wife stumbled across in raising their own children. If you have ever struggled in your attempts to deal with an oppositional child or adolescent, you will find this podcast enlightening!

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hello and welcome to the Feeling Good podcast.
0:12.4	I am your host, Fabrice Knight.
0:14.7	And joining me here in the Murrieta Studios is Dr. David Burns.
0:19.0	Hi, David.
0:20.0	Hi, Fabrice.
0:23.8	Dr. David Burns has been a pioneer in the development of cognitive therapy, and he is the creator of the new team therapy. He is the author of
0:30.2	Feeling Good, which has sold over 5 million copies in the United States, and has been translated into
0:35.5	over 20 languages.
0:43.0	He is an emeritus adjunct clinical professor of psychiatry at the Stanford University School of Medicine.
0:44.5	All right, so we have another listener question here, and this is about dealing with a difficult
0:52.0	child from a pretty. Here's what she says. I have been reading
0:59.4	your Feeling Good Together book. I am having trouble dealing with a nine-year-old who is very
1:05.0	stubborn and becoming defiant. Does your EAR technique apply to kids as well? And here the EAR technique is empathy,
1:14.9	assertiveness, and respect for people who haven't heard this. So she says, I think it is important
1:23.5	to set firm boundaries when working with a defiant child rather than an engaged adult.
1:29.8	My husband and I are trying to improve our relationship by using your techniques,
1:35.0	but I am not sure that it is appropriate for children. Can you help?
1:39.8	Well, and this is pretty. Thank you for that for that great question that probably plagues almost all parents
1:47.0	sooner or later. It's something that my wife and I ran into as well. And I'm sure we were probably
1:57.0	defiant as children. I wasn't.
2:03.7	Exactly, exactly.
2:08.6	And to make a long story short, I think you're right.
	...

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