You're listening to the HMS podcast, brought to you by MMPGuns.com.

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Come back's morning sickness.

You've been deceived by an agent of Satan himself? He's evil. Sitting right here. Come on. No, no, he's not evil. He's just a bit rude. 98. Can you be greedy? And it's men's fault for leaving. We need more men whacking kids in the back of the melon. That's it. Period. End of story. Young kids need dads to get there to go. What the hell's wrong with you? I just have this murderous rage. Knock it off. And then you go, ow! It's not a beating. It's a reminder. You can't be that way in society. So quick to put... They don't know how to... They don't know how to be sad. They don't know how to be depressed. Everybody's depressed. You don't chop your legs open just because you're depressed or start carving initials into your body. You just deal with it. Who's the first girl that knocked you on your ass, Brett? Do you remember her name? Don't act like it didn't happen. No, it did, it did. No, no, it did. It did. I'm just trying to remember. The first one, you don't remember her name? No. Oh, man. Everybody remembers the name. The first one that made you sit in a room and I go, oh, no. This life's never going to be the same. I can't remember her name. But I'm not saying it didn't happen. How old were you? Young? Yeah. 12, 13. It's usually the first one we feel like the world's coming to an end. She's not paying attention to me. She doesn't like me. Mine was a girl named Christy Allen. Christy Allen in sixth grade, Rosevelt Elementary School.

She was beyond a crush.

I was going to marry her.

We were 12.

And then she started hanging out with a kid named Warren.

I'm like, what the hell's going on here?

I thought we were in love.

And she looked at me and she goes,

we hardly ever talked to each other.

Now, what I had done is create this relationship in my head with her because we sat next to each other in school. And I wrote her note that said, will you go with me? And she checked the S box. And I'm going, well, that's just locked in for life. We're good here. I've got paperwork. We're moving forward. that I didn't do about it. I just looked at her and I'd be like, my God,

I don't know what this thing's for,

but it gets excited when it's around you. And I'd go home and I'd touch things. Wow. And then she'd pop in my mind and we'd make it faster. I'm like, that's fit. She's done a wonderful job. What a great girlfriend. Hardly talked to her. She ends up talking This kid named Warren. Jeff's. No, not Warren, Jeff, but that would have been nice. He was about 38.

I don't remember.

He was a... job. What a great girlfriend. Hardly talked to her. She ends up talking to this kid named Warren.

Jeff's. No, not Warren Jeff, but that would have been nice. He was about 38. I don't remember. He was a good-looking kid. He could have been. Warren, I can't remember his last name. I think it started with an L, but I don't remember. And they started holding hands and walking around school and Like, what's going on here?

You had the paperwork, though? I had the pay.

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