Sobriety Uncensored

Daniel and Jenna talk about how their recovery programs are evolving as their lives and circumstances change. Jenna opens up about this transitional time in her life and how she hasn't felt inspired to commit time or energy to her recovery program. They discuss boredom and discovering new hobbies or ways to have fun. Daniel explains (through some minor technical difficulties) how the change of seasons makes him uncomfortable and the importance of staying focused on recovery during this time.

Transcribed - Published: 26 September 2024

Daniel and Jenna talk about leading double lives in active addition. They discuss the level of denial they were both in when telling themselves they were successful parents, partners, and professionals while maintaining an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. Daniel shares about recently researching gummies which leads to a discussion about having addictive personalities and how it can sneak in at unexpected times.

Transcribed - Published: 19 September 2024

Daniel tells Jenna about a recent mom & daughter gathering at his house that ended with Daniel ubering a couple friends home. They talk about "mommy wine culture" as Jenna recalls some of her play date experiences as a mom of young children. They discuss the mental energy they used to watch, calculate and plan their drinking when trying to fit in with parent functions.

Transcribed - Published: 12 September 2024

Daniel and Jenna talk about their Labor Day weekends and their ability to navigate last-minute changes to plans. Jenna tells how her weekend abruptly shifted to accommodate her daughter's needs. Daniel talks about gaslighting and tells a story about a recent interaction in which he maintained a professional demeanor without being passive, apologetic, or confrontational.

Transcribed - Published: 5 September 2024

Daniel recalls the anxiety associated with Labor Day weekend and back-to-school season as a student as well as an educator. He talks about the false promises he would repeatedly make, intending to use Labor Day as a "regroup" day when, in reality, he would continue to rationalize drinking through Monday. Daniel and Jenna discuss academic and social pressures as they relate to their children facing different adolescent phases. Jenna talks about her new-found alone time and the associated challenges with one child now in college and the other spending less and less time at home.

Transcribed - Published: 29 August 2024

Daniel and Jenna talk about feelings of underlying rage and how it can sometimes be exacerbated by emotional sobriety and navigating life's conflict without alcohol. They talk about how practicing gratitude, patience, and humility are useful tools for keeping and even mood and practicing conflict resolution. They also discuss Jenna's search for a new AA meeting that meets her recovery needs and how those needs can evolve with time.

Transcribed - Published: 22 August 2024

Daniel and Jenna talk about how they incorporated drinking into their lives while fulfilling their responsibilities as professionals, spouses, parents, and friends. They discuss "drunk math" and how they justified their alcoholic behaviors, even when not drinking.

Transcribed - Published: 15 August 2024

Jenna and Daniel discuss the thought of staying sober "forever" and how that seems unattainable in early sobriety. They discuss taking sober life as it comes, one challenge at a time, while making adjustments to daily life. They also discuss how they've used community and social media as part of their sober toolbox.

Transcribed - Published: 8 August 2024

Daniel and Jenna report back after both being on vacation for the last week. They talk about their past vacation experiences in active addiction, and discuss the relief associated with being worry-free when it comes to the negotiations and calculations.

Transcribed - Published: 1 August 2024

Daniel and Jenna talk about people's true intentions when getting sober and using recovery as an "out" in certain situations. They discuss the importance of being careful to protect ones own recovery program while also trying to help someone in need.

Transcribed - Published: 25 July 2024

Jenna and Daniel talk about committing to a quit date and the subsequent cycle of promises that we tend to make to ourselves as we justify putting it off. Daniel tells Jenna about a recent discussion with a friend in his 20's who continues to contemplate quitting, and how his social circle can be a roadblock to commitment. They discuss the varying challenges when getting sober at different stages of life.

Transcribed - Published: 18 July 2024

Daniel and Jenna talk about experiencing major life events as people in recovery and how different they handle such events without alcohol. They discuss "emotional sobriety" and how intensely they can sometimes feel certain life shifts without using alcohol to cope, escape, or celebrate. Jenna talks about feeling irritable or antsy and sometimes forgetting about the added mental toll of staying sober while going through major life changes. Daniel talks about "opposite action" and challenging himself to stay on task and engaged when he's feeling unmotivated or uninspired.

Transcribed - Published: 11 July 2024

Happy July 4th! Daniel and Jenna talk about "sitting it out" and the choice to accept a potentially boring holiday in exchange for the reward of staying sober. They discuss pressure from family, friends and spouses to match their drinking habits and just try to be "normal", which can lead to dishonesty and manipulation.

Transcribed - Published: 4 July 2024

Jenna shares about a recent conversation with her son regarding self worth and positive self talk. Jenna and Daniel talk about the life skills they're learning in recovery and how they continue to put them into practice in everyday life. They discuss their own personal need for self-reward in recovery, whether its a simple verbalization of a job well-done, or treating themselves to a sober gift.

Transcribed - Published: 27 June 2024

Daniel talks about recently deleting his TikTok account and what a freeing feeling it was to let go of something that was no longer serving him. Daniel and Jenna acknowledge the impact sober TikTok has had on both their sobriety and the positive experiences they have had. They also address the potential for obsessive behavior and the desire for acceptance with social media. They discuss how this decision ties into boundary setting as a necessary part of recovery.

Transcribed - Published: 20 June 2024

Jenna tells Daniel about some recent milestones her family has experienced and expresses appreciation for her sobriety, and for being fully engaged and emotional. She addresses a brief desire to drink at her daughter's graduation celebration dinner, and Daniel talks about how that is normal, and that it is unrealistic to think you'll never have another craving. They talk about "negative permanent language" and as it applies to sobriety.

Transcribed - Published: 13 June 2024

Daniel and Jenna talk about alcohol-free products that have recently become more popular including elixirs, microdose mushroom beverages, and supplements. They discuss their own personal preferences with these products and how they feel it could potentially affect their sobriety.

Transcribed - Published: 6 June 2024

Daniel tells Jenna about recently losing power and adjusting his family activities for an evening. They talk about their rationalization to drink in those types of circumstances during active addiction. Jenna talks about how relieved she feels to be able to participate in relaxing activities on her own without the lure of alcohol constantly pulling at her choices. They also discuss the ability to stay awake and alert in the evenings, whether that means giving their children rides to and from activities, being productive at home, or simply relaxing.

Transcribed - Published: 31 May 2024

Daniel and Jenna talk about "residual shame" as Daniel continues his job search and is faced with some previous acquaintances via social media. They discuss the rationale for amends and how it can sometimes be authentic and sometimes self-serving, and the importance of making that distinction before approaching someone from the past.

Transcribed - Published: 23 May 2024

Jenna and Daniel talk about how their sobriety has affected their marriages. Having much different experiences, they share the differences and similarities of how their relationships have evolved as they have discovered their true authentic selves in sobriety.

Transcribed - Published: 16 May 2024

Jenna talks about going to a Phillies game and how her sobriety gave her a sense of freedom versus restraint. Daniel talks about how much his recent injury continues to limit his activities and how he's handling the associated frustration. They discuss weed, CBD and THC, and talk about how some people in recovery will sometimes seek "permission" to start smoking in place of drinking.

Transcribed - Published: 9 May 2024

Daniel tells Jenna of a recent neck injury which leads to a discussion about the disruption of certain activities in his sober toolbox. They talk about the critical nature of maintaining routine and adjusting their sober activities as needed. Daniel asks the question "what is this trying to teach me" versus feeling overly frustrated or defeated. He acknowledges how different his situation would be in active addiction as they discuss boundary-setting and supporting loved ones.

Transcribed - Published: 2 May 2024

Jenna and Daniel talk about navigating parental choices when their children are considering drinking. They discuss trust and respect and how that ties into their parenting styles. Daniel talks about some recent travel which leads them to recall some of their habits when it came to planning drinking during road trips.

Transcribed - Published: 25 April 2024

Daniel talks about planning some upcoming travel and being careful not to overthink the plans. Jenna shares about attending the first happy hour she's been to since getting sober and acknowledges her signals to know when to leave. They discuss having acceptance of potentially missing out on some things, or not being invited to certain events, in return for maintaining their sobriety.

Transcribed - Published: 18 April 2024

Jenna tells Daniel about a recent injury and the potential of needing surgery, the use of pain medication and potential cross addiction. Their discussion leads them to consider how they have evaluated their individual reasons for becoming addicts in the first place, and how that can be a grey area for some people in recovery.

Transcribed - Published: 11 April 2024

Daniel and Jenna talk about fear mongering as a method to promote sobriety and the aggressive nature of some sober people in their promotion techniques. They discuss associated policing and judgement-based modalities, particularly when trying to figure out your "why" to stop drinking.

Transcribed - Published: 4 April 2024

Jenna asks Daniel about his drunken gaming during his active addiction and Daniel explains his need for control and escape at the time as a coping mechanism. They discuss their hyper awareness of alcohol in everyday life as Daniel talks about a recent trip to HomeGoods with his daughter, which prompts Jenna to tell a story of being over friendly and over generous during her drinking days.

Transcribed - Published: 28 March 2024

Daniel and Jenna talk about their experiences with isolation and the importance of sober community. Jenna recognizes her stubborn nature and how it affected her willingness to initially accept her need for a sober community. Daniel talks about recently attending a sober house party and an app that hosts sober events nationwide. They talk about putting in the work and researching available events to potentially connect with other people in recovery.

Transcribed - Published: 21 March 2024

Daniel and Jenna talk about celebrating St. Patrick's Day. They recall the internal negotiations and bargaining in active addiction when it came their habits as they tried to maintain a "normal" appearance to outsiders. They talk about the shift from envy to disinterest when watching people celebrate or day drink, and the ebb and flow of these feelings in sobriety.

Transcribed - Published: 14 March 2024

Daniel tells Jenna about recently going to a concert and being the only sober person there. They discuss the relief of knowing the how, what, when and where of events in sobriety versus the work of arranging, coordinating, and doing the drunk math in active addiction. They recall the dreadful feeling of blackouts and the associated anxiety.

Transcribed - Published: 7 March 2024

Daniel and Jenna talk about the feeling of being fully engaged in activities and how freeing it is to not experience self doubt. They discuss the emotional stability and self confidence that comes with more sober time.

Transcribed - Published: 29 February 2024

Daniel and Jenna talk about Daniel's new game idea, "Sober Bingo", and brainstorm how to play and suggest sharing wins on social media. They discuss idle time, particularly in early sobriety, and how they survive the mundane without alcohol.

Transcribed - Published: 15 February 2024

Jenna and Daniel talk about Super Bowl Sunday and how they approach social situations in recovery. They discuss different techniques they've successfully used to safely participate in gatherings while maintaining their sobriety.

Transcribed - Published: 8 February 2024

Daniel and Jenna reflect back to early recovery and consider things they may have done differently. They discuss the concept of the “pink cloud” and their own misconceptions of the excitement in early sobriety.

Transcribed - Published: 1 February 2024

Jenna and Daniel discuss their physical health during active addition versus recovery. They talk about societal biases regarding addiction and health.

Transcribed - Published: 25 January 2024

Daniel and Jenna talk about Daniel’s recent conference in Vegas and how he is able to dismiss the potentially tempting environment. They discuss their varying stages of self pity, anger and acceptance when surrounded by alcohol advertising and merchandising.

Transcribed - Published: 18 January 2024

Jenna and Daniel talk about downtime and being careful about setting productivity expectations too high versus feeling bored or stagnant. They discuss journaling as a recovery and mental health tool.

Transcribed - Published: 4 January 2024

Daniel and Jenna talk about the pros and cons of social media, not just as it applies to their sobriety but their self confidence in general.

Transcribed - Published: 28 December 2023

Daniel and Jenna talk about the concept of self-shame particularly as it applies to “slip ups” in recovery. They discuss the balance of shaming oneself and being overly permissive with false starts.

Transcribed - Published: 21 December 2023

Daniel talks about recently officiating a wedding which leads to a discussion about how such social events are handled at different stages of sobriety. Jenna & Daniel acknowledge how their sobriety ebbs and flows especially when being challenged with celebrations or social events. They recall the “3 a.m. anxiety” and discuss the stark differences between that panicked feeling vs experiencing comfort as they settle into living life sober.

Transcribed - Published: 14 December 2023

Jenna and Daniel talk about Daniel’s rediscovery of AA meetings. They address some of the stigma associated with meetings and compare their own individual experiences.

Transcribed - Published: 8 December 2023

Episode 49 (aka Season 2 Episode 1) Daniel and Jenna talk about Daniel’s recent mental health recovery program and discuss the common themes between that and addiction recovery. They compare different views on anonymity and discuss their comfort level with recognizing self-worth and yearning for more stability as they get older.

Transcribed - Published: 30 November 2023

As Season 1 comes to a close, Daniel and Jenna recap some of the topics covered over the last 47 episodes as they recharge for Season 2.

Transcribed - Published: 14 September 2023

As they wrap up summer, Daniel and Jenna talk about what the month of August represents to each of them. Jenna opens up about the anniversary of her father’s passing, and how the tradition of how she celebrates him has changed as a result of her sobriety. They go on to talk about the grieving process in active addiction as opposed to in recovery, and also touch on the grief associated with removing alcohol from their lives.

Transcribed - Published: 31 August 2023

Jenna asks Daniel whether or not he was affected by hurricane Hillary which leads to a discussion about “hunkering down” when emergency situations occur. They talk about how, as alcoholics, they would use situations to rationalize their drinking. Jenna shares some of her personal experiences with her addiction as a COVID nurse and during the quarantine, and Daniel explains his methods to maintain his sobriety during that time.

Transcribed - Published: 24 August 2023

Daniel and Jenna discuss the importance of maintaining or adjusting their recovery programs with change in routine, particularly as their kids start a new school year. They talk about how any change in daily routines can be a challenge for their sobriety, and adjusting their own modalities to fit into their daily lives is critical to their success. Jenna considers the recent changes she has experienced in her recovery program by releasing some original modalities that no longer serve her, while Daniel relates his mental health to his ability to stay sober as he introduces new and different techniques to his routine.

Transcribed - Published: 17 August 2023

Daniel and Jenna welcome guest, Celeste Yvonne. Celeste is a writer and certified sober coach with over 20 years of experience as a communications professional in corporate America. Her essays on parenting, the mental load of motherhood, mommy wine culture, and sobriety resonate with mothers everywhere. Celeste tells her sober story, talks about what inspired her to start talking about recovery and start an online sober community, “Sober Mom Squad”. She discusses her upcoming book, "It's Not About the Wine” being released on September 12th.

Transcribed - Published: 10 August 2023

Jenna and Daniel address a common question about how they will react if and when their children start to drink. With children of varying ages, they talk about their own realities with having honest conversations and their shared desire for their kids to have “normal” experiences. They discuss the importance of being honest with their children about their past struggles with addiction.

Transcribed - Published: 3 August 2023

FAQs Part 2: Daniel and Jenna address the topic of utilizing medication in recovery. They discuss their own personal experiences with or without meds in addition to other substances, like nicotine and caffeine. They emphasize the relative nature of using medication and stress the importance of having an honest conversation with a medical professional. The second topic on this episode is about losing friendships in the process of getting sober. Daniel and Jenna compare experiences and consider how friendships aren’t necessarily lost but can tend to shift while practicing self preservation in recovery.

Transcribed - Published: 27 July 2023

FAQ’s Part One: Daniel and Jenna address the most frequently asked questions/comments on TikTok including: How do I start? What was your last straw? I want to go to a meeting but I’m scared. When will I stop thinking about drinking? How do I set boundaries? How do I tell people I’m getting sober?

Transcribed - Published: 20 July 2023