You Learn This Too Late: Understanding This Will Change the Way You Look at Your Relationships

The Mel Robbins Podcast

SiriusXM Podcasts

Education, Mental Health, Relationships, Self-improvement, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness

4.8 • 10.6K Ratings

🗓️ 28 July 2025

⏱️ 87 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

In this episode, you’ll discover how your childhood shaped who you are today—and the hidden parenting mistakes that impact every relationship you have. You’ll also learn tools for excellent parenting and how to improve any relationship, including with your own parents, siblings, partner, kids, and friends. Joining Mel today is Dr. Aliza Pressman, PhD. Dr. Pressman is a world‑renowned developmental psychologist, professor at Mount Sinai, director of The Mount Sinai Parenting Center, and author of the New York Times bestseller The 5 Principles of Parenting. For over two decades, she’s been teaching parents practical science‑backed tools to raise emotionally healthy, resilient kids—and to become better, more grounded humans in the process. Today, Dr. Pressman breaks down 5 principles that will change how you parent forever. You’ll hear the research on how early experiences shape who you become, why oversacrificing for your kids backfires, and the surprising ways criticizing your partner or ex can quietly wound your child for life. You’ll also learn protocols for excellent parenting and how to improve relationships of all kinds, from setting boundaries that actually work, to repairing after you’ve lost your cool, to strengthening your child’s inner voice by changing the way you talk to yourself. This isn’t just about raising kids. It’s about learning how to be a better human (and raise one too). Whether you’re parenting toddlers, teenagers, or adult children—or simply trying to understand the impact your own parents had on you—this conversation will give you clear, actionable tools you can use immediately. For more resources, click here for the podcast episode page. If you liked the episode, check out this one next: Harvard Psychologist Shares 6 Words That Will Change Your Family Connect with Mel: Get Mel’s #1 bestselling book, The Let Them Theory Watch the episodes on YouTube Follow Mel on Instagram The Mel Robbins Podcast Instagram Mel's TikTok Sign up for Mel’s personal letter Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ to listen to new episodes ad-free Disclaimer

Transcript

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0:00.0	Hey, it's your friend Mel, and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast.
0:08.6	I just got out of the studio here in Boston. I cannot wait for you to experience this conversation.
0:15.1	It's with Dr. Alisa Pressman. She's one of the world's most respected developmental psychologists for over two decades.
0:22.5	Dr. Presman has been studying how your childhood shapes who you've become as an adult.
0:28.5	Well, today, Dr. Presman is here to lay out the science behind the parenting mistakes
0:33.1	most of us don't even realize we're making and mistakes that your parents probably made when you
0:38.9	were little and may still be making in your relationship with them today. Now, these mistakes are
0:44.6	easy to miss because they're hidden in plain sight. But based on the research, they have a profound
0:50.0	impact on who you are today and every relationship that you have. I'm talking how you love,
0:56.1	how you parent, how you show up as a friend, how you feel about yourself. Today, you're going to
1:00.6	learn so much, including the shocking research about what happens to a child when one parent
1:05.6	complains about the other parent to you and the unexpected ways it shows up in your adult life. If you're going
1:12.7	through a divorce or are the child of divorced parents, this is a must listen about the things that
1:18.3	most divorced parents do wrong and they probably never apologize for. You're also going to learn
1:25.1	how over-sacrificing for your kids backfires and how this may be affecting you.
1:30.4	If your parents sacrificed everything for you to have the opportunities you've had, this is the episode for you.
1:37.3	And plus, there are so many amazing things that you're going to learn.
1:40.4	You're going to learn if you're listening right now, you're doing a great job as a parent because you actually want to learn more. You're also going to learn about five simple principles that are based on research that will give you the tools that you need to create better relationships with yourself, your parents, your kids, people at work, everyone. I'm so excited about what you're going to learn because it's going to validate things that you've felt for years. Dr. Pressman is going to give you so much clarity about what you've experienced, and more
2:05.4	importantly, where you can go from here. You don't have to be a parent to get something profound
2:11.5	out of this because you've been parented by someone else, and it's affected you. I can't believe how much I've learned from
2:20.0	Dr. Pressman. And that's why I'm so excited to share this with you and for you to be able to have
2:24.6	this as a resource to share with the people you love to. So let's get into it.
	...

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