Welcome to the Daily Dad podcast where we provide one lesson every day to help you with your

most important job being a dad. These are lessons inspired by ancient philosophy, by practical

wisdom, and insights from dads all over the world.

Thank you for listening, and we hope this helps.

You have to face your flaws.

Each of us picked up things in childhood because of how our own

parents were, because of the experiences we had, because of the things we did or didn't do.

We have issues. We have baggage. We know this because we've seen it manifest itself in relationships

at work, that person we lost it at in traffic. But since this has long

been our life, these issues have been our problem. We could decide to bear the cost of them.

We could decide to white knuckle our way through them. Or as most of us do, we could simply deny that

they exist. What do you mean? I don't have an intimacy problem. I don't have attachment issues.

My parents were great. My drinking is fine. I have a fantastic work ethic. The decision to have kids

means that all this has to stop. We talked to Jessica Leahy, the wonderful author of The Gift of Failure,

a great book for parents and teachers, about what she's learned being a mother, and her answer

provides something worth chewing on for all parents, but fathers especially. Having to face the

flaws, I thought I could keep secret and buried from the world because I wanted to get better for

this new person, she said, early on, sure, I'm the sun and the moon and the stars to this infant who looks at me

for every element of survival. For those early days, I get to be perfect and smug in my

oxytocin-soaked love in deep denial. Really quickly, however, the flaws in me I've been so good at

hiding through excelling academically or being charismatic start to poke through because it

matters to someone other than me and the guy I tricked into marrying me. For me, those flaws

...