The You probably knew at that time what I thought was the most important thing going on in my life was what's going on with me and girls.

That was probably what we were talking about 90% of the time in our conversations and that's honestly

probably what consciously I was going through 90% of the time while subconsciously I'm sure I was going through 90% of the time, while subconsciously I'm sure I was confused and mourning and like what the fuck and not really confronting what just happened.

You can't really do a high school show without talking about this. In some ways this is everything.

When the boys and the girls, when we started realizing that we wanted each other,

I don't want to intellectualize what was happening there because it was so

unintellectual. I remember having a sleepover with some of my friends when we were

probably in eighth grade and we watched the movie Leprechon and there's a guy in a cellar and the

Leprecon can do tricks and this guy sees what he thinks is a woman with her top half naked.

And he reaches out to touch her.

And the reveal is what he thought was like a naked boob there is actually some kind of sharp engine fan and it chops his whole

shit up. It's this one three second snapshot of nudity and me and my friends we must have

rewound that clip 15 times just to see a boot.

That's the kind of shit that's going on, you know?

All right, it was a few things that were going on for me at this point in time.

The social pressure notwithstanding,

there's this push to like, be sexually active,

talk about your sexual activity, pursue girls.

But there also was like a feeling of, wow, girls are interested in me.

I remember after a basketball game when a girl who lived in my neighborhood,

who I always thought was cute, we're all hanging out in one of my teammates and we didn't even talk to each other the whole night.

This is how it goes. It's high school sometimes. You don't even talk. You just see each other the whole night. I was a little too

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