Ye Olde Gossip: The Scandalous Murder Triangle Of Alexander The Great!
The Bert Show
The Bert Show
4.1 • 4.4K Ratings
🗓️ 28 August 2025
⏱️ 5 minutes
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | It's the Virch Show. |
| 0:02.5 | All right, most people know Alexander the Great as the guy who created one of the largest empires in history. |
| 0:09.1 | But what I think he should get credit for is being the Queen B of the most toxic friend group known to man. |
| 0:15.9 | So toxic, he actually murdered two of his closest confidants. |
| 0:21.6 | Hear ye, hear ye. |
| 0:23.5 | Come forth, all Instagram bettys and crypto bros for the most salacious gossip in the |
| 0:29.4 | whole village. |
| 0:30.9 | Abby's done the work to bring you the old gossip. |
| 0:34.7 | So Alexander the Great was history's original overachiever. |
| 0:39.5 | He conquered half of the known world by 25 and by 30. |
| 0:43.3 | He's basically the CEO of Earth. |
| 0:45.6 | Like he's out here collecting Empire. |
| 0:47.6 | As the CEO of Earth? |
| 0:49.8 | He's like, how much does the Earth cost? |
| 0:52.1 | I'm going to buy the Earth. |
| 0:54.1 | Well, when you have like your name followed by the great, you're better on the earth. |
| 0:58.6 | He's the great. He's collecting empires like I collect hotel mini shampoos. But the real tea is his |
| 1:06.3 | friend group was a hot mess. Like toxic squad goals had a Mount Rushmore. |
| 1:12.5 | These guys would be on it. |
| 1:14.5 | And not like a nice inspirational Mount Rushmore, the one where George Washington is |
| 1:18.5 | crying in a corner and Abe Lincoln is stabbing him in the back. |
| 1:22.5 | So first up in our toxic friend group, it's Cletus the Black, which is his act. |
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