The bird show.

All right, time for ye old gossip.

In some of...

Hear ye, hear ye!

Come forth, all Instagram baddies and crypto bros for the most salacious gossip in the whole village.

Abby's done the work to bring you the old gossip.

In celebration of Mother's Day this past Sunday, I figured we could honor one of the worst

mothers in history, a woman who had all the money in the world but couldn't buy decent parenting

skills to save her life.

I'm talking about the Gilded Ages, Alva Vanderbilt.

Now, if you watch the Gilded Age on HBO, this is actually Carrie Coon's character.

She doesn't literally play Alva Vanderville, but whoever her character is actually based on this woman.

Oh, it's a big nod to her. It's a big nod. So once upon a time, there was a girl, and by girl, I mean eris, named Consuelo.

So Consuelo was born into the famed Vanderbilt family,

one of the richest families in American history in the 19th century. And her mother was,

of course, none other than Alva Vanderbilt. And Alva actually named her after her Cuban-American

heiress bestie named Consuelo who had married a British Duke because

nothing says, I love my child, quite like naming her after your richest friend's success story.

So as you can see, Alva was less like having a mom and more like having the PR rep from hell.

Like I said, the Vanderbiltz were filthy rich and they could buy and build anything

you could ever dream of except for social acceptance. The Vanderbiltz were new money, which in the

19th century was a bit like being an influencer on the Met Gallo red carpet. Like you might be richer and

...