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Betrayal Trauma Recovery

Women Say THESE Are The Best Betrayal Trauma Resources

Betrayal Trauma Recovery

Anne Blythe, M.Ed.

Society & Culture, Mental Health, Self-improvement, Relationships, Health & Fitness, Education

4.71.5K Ratings

🗓️ 6 August 2019

⏱️ 14 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

You deserve the best betrayal trauma resources as you navigate the deeply personal journey toward emotional safety.

What is Betrayal Trauma?

Betrayal trauma in marriage occurs when your husband violates your trust.

But here’s the thing: Some resources for navigating what to do about betrayal trauma can be more traumatizing than helpful.

In This Article, We Cover These Best Betrayal Trauma Resources

Best Betrayal Trauma Resources

Transcript: The Best Betrayal Trauma Resources For Women

Anne: My friend Lindsay and I were hanging out in my basement and talking about why I started Betrayal Trauma Recovery. I wanted all the educational material: the podcast, the website, and the transcribed articles to be free. And I wanted women to get our professional betrayal trauma resources from anywhere.

And they needed to be accessible within hours of an abuse episode. You could either get into an individual session or a group session that you never had to call your therapist and get the sad news that they couldn’t see you for two weeks or that you had to be on some wait list. I just wanted to make sure that women had a safe place to go for the best support for betrayal trauma.

When I first started Betrayal Trauma Recovery. I thought BTR would be to shorten the time span between trying to get help while in the abuse cycle. It was basically to shorten the time span to find out about their pornography, and immediately notice abuse. So women could figure out the difference between emotional abuse and normal conflict. And immediately you can set boundaries, with their emotionally abusive husbands, right? That was like, okay, I’m gonna like make sure that no woman has to go through 10, 20 years of this again.

Best Betrayal Trauma Resources

Well, what I have found is that most women have to go through that stage. And so for women who are like, oh, I’m so stupid. Why didn’t I see it before? Why didn’t I do that? Almost like you had to go through that. No woman goes straight from, I found explicit material on his phone to the hardcore boundary. Usually, I mean, maybe if you’re the miracle out there, email me and we will have you on the podcast.

The Importance Of Education

That would be awesome, then I realized, no, this podcast is to educate women. We’ll just speak our truth and wherever they are is okay.

Lindsay: Yeah, take you where you are.

Anne: Yeah, and we’ll grow together from whatever stage we’re in. And hopefully in the process, number one is safety, and number two is that post traumatic growth. That people talk about a lot. Being able to grow. And I feel like I’m finally getting to that stage. I mean, I’ve changed a lot and grown a lot, but I also now, I’m like, oh my word, I’m wearing makeup! There are so many things now that I’m working toward, and it’s so exciting. So many women come on the podcast and share their emotional abuse survivor stories, and it’s so inspiring.

Now, you’re at a really, really tough, messy stage.

Lindsay: Yes.

Resources For Betrayal For Women

Anne: Right now, you are separating as a boundary for repeated lies and infidelity. You don’t know what the outcome of your boundary setting will be.

Lindsay: Absolutely.

Anne: Right, it’s I believe, your best chance for a happy future, and I also believe it’s your husband’s best chance to get healthy. But how are you feeling now in the context of your own personal growth?

We’ve All Been There

Lindsay: One thing that was truly powerful was just remembering. Not that I didn’t know this before, but remembering that this is painful and will be painful. If I am stabbed by a knife, I can’t control whether that hurts. It’s going to hurt. And so letting myself feel those emotions, in a real way. That’s awful. It’s awful to sit there and bawl and cry and have a pile of Kleenexes.

Anne: We’ve all been there. It’s the worst. You feel like all the liquid in your entire body has come out.

Lindsay: Yes.

Resources For Betrayal Trauma

Anne: It’s awful. And you need the best betrayal trauma resources. A lot women try all sorts of stuff like herbal medicine for betrayal trauma.

Embracing Pain & Healing

Lindsay: It’s awful. And none of it will be fun, and it’s not going to be easy. And I’m going to make mistakes. I mean, yes, I’m holding a boundary, but oh my word, I have no clue if this is the right thing, the right answer. And that’s okay. I don’t have to be perfect at this. And it’s okay for me to be messy, raw, and in pain, and that has been one thing. Your emotional abuse test helped me a ton.

Anne: For me, it’s been years of pain and unresolved things that I can’t fix. And they’re still here. I still can’t fix them. There’s one woman I talked to on the phone, and her situation was bleak. She had no support. Nobody understood what she was going through. She actually lived with her in laws. And they didn’t understand. So everything was bad.

I just prayed with her on the phone. Because I was like, you can get a coach, but still, your situation is so bad that you need help from God. And she believed in God, so that wasn’t a stretch for her. So we said a prayer, and she emailed me a little later and said, you know, I haven’t had any huge miracle happen, right. I told her there were so many times where I was screaming, yelling and jumping up and down.

What Is Betrayal Trauma Theory

And saying like, send help now. I need help now, I need something to change now. And nobody came and nothing happened, but things have happened slowly over time. Then I developed my business to have the best betrayal trauma resources. That has been cool to watch. And I can’t wait to see what’s going to happen 10 years from now.

Betrayal Trauma Resources For Newcomers

Anne: It makes it exciting knowing that it’s all working for my good. And having that faith that it will, even if I can’t see it.

Lindsay: Right, so I had a question for you. So, let’s say there is somebody out there, and they’re totally new. I mean, this is their first introduction to anything recovery.

Anne: This podcast right now?

Lindsay: Yes,

Anne: Okay.

Lindsay: What betrayal trauma resources are available? And if the resources available to them aren’t healthy. What can they look for in what they have available to make it still work for them?

https://youtube.com/shorts/Xz2bZTjFYcU

Anne: Yeah, you’re in the right place now. If this is your first time and this is the first thing, and you’re like, what resource? You are at it, Betrayal Trauma Recovery is the best betrayal trauma resource. I created it so I’m a little biased. And the reason I feel confident about saying that is because women have gone to lots of other places and then come back and said, well, that wasn’t safe for me. But let’s say a woman tries something and it’s not, right?

She goes to a COSA group, for example, or a different 12 Step Group, and it’s like, no, this doesn’t feel right. It just isn’t safe. So I would say that’s why I built Betrayal Trauma Recovery. Knowing that you’re looking for a place that sees it as a victim and perpetrator situation. So someone said to me the other day, how do you feel about the drama triangle? You know about the drama triangle, right, victim, perpetrator, and rescuer?

Lindsay: Yeah.

Choosing The Right Resources For Betrayal Trauma

Anne: In this context, there is no triangle.

Lindsay: Right.

Anne: Right? And the same thing when people say it takes two to tango, both sides of the story. There is one truth.

Lindsay: Right.

Anne: And for me, for nine months, I prayed every day to know what the truth of my situation was. And I was open to knowing exactly what that was. So that if it is me, I want to know.

Lindsay: Right.

Anne: And what I discovered was I was in experiencing covert emotional abuse. That was the truth of my situation. Being educated about what abuse looks like, what manipulation looks like, is important. For someone just starting out, I’d say, my betrayal trauma workshop is a great place to start.

Learn More about BTR Group Sessions

It helps you determine what your husband’s true character is, and gives you safety strategies. It’s important to know what those are in the beginning. So that you can start practicing those while you observe to figure out what’s going on. Obviously listening to a good podcast about betrayal trauma, and finding a solid online support group for betrayal trauma.

I’m like, now? And you’re like, it’s okay if you get around to it, like, in a week.

Lindsay: It’s their journey, right?

Anne: I know. It’s your journey. And so with inexpensive books to read, our books page is a compilation of all those books.

Betrayal Trauma Books

Anne: And most of them you can get at your local library free.

Lindsay: Yeah, even on audio book.

Anne: Yes!

Lindsay: Which is awesome.

Anne: And guess which of the betrayal trauma resources are free? This podcast! I was just recently reading, I hadn’t done it before, the ratings on iTunes. I was like, oh, they’re so nice. They said like, listening to your podcast has done more for me than 10 years of therapy. Stuff like that. And I was like, really? I’m so glad that’s the whole point of it. Healing from abuse is long-term, emotionally, physically, and financially expensive endeavor.

Lindsay: It is.

Anne: It is worth it, though.

So whatever resource you choose, even if it’s just reading books, even if the only thing you do is go in your closet and pray. And that’s your “recovery plan.” It will be worth it. Something that concerns me regarding 12 Step Groups as a resource for betrayal trauma. Is the way some women are made to feel responsible for their husband’s choices. Or the healthiness of the marriage, even though they are not and have not been the abusive one.

Here’s an example. When I went, women said, when I started coming here, that’s what made the difference to my husband.

Lindsay: Right.

Anne: And I just was like, stop saying that. The other thing I thought was interesting is that in that stage they thought their husband was doing well. I’m not saying one particular person, but I’ve seen this happen many times.

And then later they find out that he wasn’t even in a good stage, and they thought he was.

Shortage Of Safe Betrayal Trauma RESOURCES

Anne: So that’s another thing that’s difficult about this journey. Is that understanding what a safe person looks like takes a lot of time.

Lindsay: So much time. I mean, even for me, I’m still developing my understanding of what that looks like. I gather all the resources I can.

Anne: Lindsay is a very intense researcher.

Lindsay: Yes, I am.

Anne: I would say, very organized.

Lindsay: I’m working on letting that go. It is still a work in progress.

Anne: Well, I’m grateful that you felt safe enough here. Number one, just with me as my friend, that means a lot to me. But also to share your story here to help women know where to find the best betrayal trauma resources. And again, any route is fine. Anything that works is great, because there are so many women in this situation. There’s no shortage of victims. Unfortunately, there is a shortage of resources.

Lindsay: Yeah.

Experiencing Betrayal Trauma While Pregnant?

Navigating the emotional chaos of betrayal trauma is challenging enough, but experiencing betrayal trauma while pregnant adds a whole other layer of complexity.

If your husband has been unfaithful during this critical time, know that you’re not alone. This guide aims to provide you with the support and strategies you need to prioritize your well-being and that of your unborn child.

Betrayal Trauma while Pregnant

The Impact of Betrayal Trauma While Pregnant

Understanding the unique challenges of experiencing betrayal trauma while pregnant is crucial. Here’s how it can affect you:

  • Physical Symptoms: Increased stress levels can lead to complications such as high blood pressure, preterm labor, and other pregnancy-related issues.
  • Mental Health: Anxiety, depression, and emotional instability may be exacerbated by the betrayal, affecting both your mental health and your ability to bond with your unborn child.
  • Nutritional Deficiencies: The stress and emotional turmoil may lead to poor eating habits, affecting both your health and your baby’s development.

Healing Strategies for Pregnant Women Experiencing Trauma

1. Confide in Your Practitioner

It’s essential to inform your healthcare provider about your emotional state. They can offer resources and support tailored to your situation.

2. Prioritize Hydration and Nutrition

Your body needs additional nourishment during pregnancy, especially under stress. Focus on a balanced diet rich in essential nutrients.

3. Create a Safety Barrer

If possible, consider putting some physical distance between yourself and the source of your trauma. Creating a safe environment is vital for both your mental and physical health.

4. Attend A Support Group

Joining a community of women who understand your experience can be incredibly healing. BTR.ORG offers group sessions where you can share your story and receive support.

5. Meditation and Music

Meditation for betrayal trauma can help you manage stress and emotional pain.

Additionally, listening to calming music can also be therapeutic. Here’s some songs about healing from trauma.

Learn More about BTR Group Sessions

6. Engage in Physical Activities

Simple physical activities like walking or gardening can be beneficial. The goal is to keep moving and focus on activities that bring you peace. Check out this betrayal trauma playlist we put together to empower women.

Understanding Nutrition in Pregnancy Trauma

Proper nutrition is crucial when dealing with the physiological impacts of trauma during pregnancy. A balanced diet can counteract some of the negative effects of stress and emotional pain.

Tips for Better Nutrition

  • Healthy Fats: Incorporate healthy fats like avocados, nuts, and seeds into your diet. These can support both your brain and your baby’s brain development.
  • Hydration: Keep yourself well-hydrated. Water is essential for maintaining your body’s functions and reducing stress.
  • Balanced Meals: Aim for meals that include a variety of nutrients. Think colorful plates filled with vegetables, lean proteins, and whole grains.

The Role of Meditation in Healing Betrayal Trauma

Meditation can be a powerful tool for healing from betrayal trauma. My betrayal trauma workshop includes 13 betrayal trauma meditations designed to help women recover from emotional and psychological abuse. These meditations are easy to follow and can provide immediate relief from the stress and anxiety that often accompany betrayal trauma.

Experiencing betrayal trauma while pregnant is a deeply challenging situation, but there are steps you can take to protect your well-being and that of your unborn child. Prioritize your health, seek support, and consider joining a community like BTR.ORG to find the emotional and psychological support you need.

https://youtu.be/vJRa1S7Gq-o

If you’re ready to take the next step in your healing journey, consider attending a BTR.ORG Group Session today. You don’t have to go through this alone.

Betrayal in a marriage can be a devastating experience, leaving you feeling lost, hurt, and overwhelmed. For women dealing with betrayal trauma, finding a path to healing is essential. Herbal remedies offer a natural way to support your emotional and physical well-being during this challenging time. Below, we explore the benefits of herbal medicine for betrayal trauma and provide actionable steps to incorporate these remedies into your healing process.

Betrayal Trauma Affects The Body

It’s important for victims of betrayal and abuse to understand that our bodies can be deeply affected, even when physical violence is never used.

Many women in our community express that they have experienced:

  • Depression
  • Anxiety
  • Sleep issues
  • Digestive issues
  • Autoimmune diseases
  • Paranoia
  • Chronic pain, including pelvic pain

Can Herbal Medicine Help Me Heal From Betrayal Trauma?

In our community, we’ve found that the only way for women to even begin healing from betrayal trauma and abuse, is to seek safety. However, healing modalities, like herbal remedies, medical care, and meditation, can often help women gain needed mental clarity and strength.

Bringing Your Senses Back to the Present Moment

When dealing with betrayal trauma, it’s crucial to find ways to ground yourself and stay present. Here are some herbal remedies that can help you live in the here and now:

  • Lavender: Known for its calming properties, lavender can help reduce anxiety and stress. Try using lavender essential oil in a diffuser or applying it topically to your wrists.
  • Chamomile: Chamomile tea can soothe your nerves and promote relaxation. Sip a warm cup when you’re feeling overwhelmed.
  • Peppermint: The invigorating scent of peppermint can help sharpen your focus and bring you back to the present moment. Consider using peppermint essential oil or drinking peppermint tea.

Alleviating Physical Pain

Betrayal trauma can manifest as physical pain, such as headaches, muscle tension, and digestive issues. These herbal remedies can provide relief:

  • Turmeric: Known for its anti-inflammatory properties, turmeric can help reduce pain and inflammation. You can take turmeric supplements or add the spice to your meals.
  • Ginger: Ginger is another powerful anti-inflammatory herb that can alleviate muscle pain and digestive discomfort. Drink ginger tea or add fresh ginger to your cooking.
  • Willow Bark: Often referred to as “nature’s aspirin,” willow bark can relieve headaches and muscle pain. It’s available in supplement form or as a tea.

Improving Sleep Quality

A good night’s sleep is essential for healing, but betrayal trauma can make it difficult to rest. These herbs can help you get the restorative sleep you need:

  • Valerian Root: Valerian root is a popular herbal remedy for insomnia and anxiety. Take it in capsule form or as a tea before bedtime.
  • Passionflower: Passionflower can help calm your mind and improve sleep quality. It’s available as an extract, capsule, or tea.
  • Lemon Balm: This soothing herb can reduce stress and promote better sleep. Drink lemon balm tea in the evening to help you unwind.
Can Herbal Medicine Help Betrayal Trauma Symptoms?

Finding Comfort

During times of emotional distress, finding comfort is essential. These herbs can provide a sense of warmth and security:

  • Holy Basil (Tulsi): Holy basil is known for its adaptogenic properties, helping your body cope with stress. Drink tulsi tea to feel more balanced and centered.
  • Ashwagandha: Another adaptogenic herb, ashwagandha can reduce anxiety and improve your overall sense of well-being. Take it in capsule form or as a powder mixed into your smoothies.
  • Rose: Rose petals can uplift your spirits and provide a sense of comfort. Try adding dried rose petals to your tea or taking a relaxing rose-scented bath.

Bringing a Little Happiness

Finding moments of joy can significantly impact your healing process. These herbs can help boost your mood and bring a little happiness into your life:

  • St. John’s Wort: Known for its antidepressant properties, St. John’s Wort can help lift your mood. Take it in capsule or tincture form, but consult your healthcare provider first, as it can interact with other medications.
  • Rhodiola: This adaptogenic herb can improve your energy levels and enhance your mood. Take it in capsule form or as an extract.
  • Saffron: Saffron has been shown to have mood-boosting effects. Add a pinch of saffron to your meals or take it in supplement form.

Additional Resources

For more information on herbal remedies and their benefits, check out these related articles:

Healing from betrayal trauma is a deeply personal and often challenging journey. Herbal remedies offer a natural and supportive way to address the emotional and physical symptoms you may be experiencing. By incorporating these herbs into your self-care routine, you can find relief and comfort as you work toward healing.

Although our Betrayal Trauma Recovery Coaches aren’t experts in herbal medicine, we are experts in validating your pain and supporting you as you heal.

If you’re looking for strategies to deal with finding out about your husband’s betrayal, listen to the best Betrayal Trauma Podcast.

If you need to talk to an expert on betrayal trauma, consider attending a BTR.ORG Group Session today.

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

Welcome to Betrayal Trauma Recovery, BTR.org. This is Anne. I'm sure you remember what it was like when you didn't understand what was going on in your marriage.

0:11.0

When you were searching for help, maybe for your husband thinking if you were searching for help, maybe for your husband

0:13.8

thinking if you found the right program or therapist, it could help him. When I

0:18.8

realized what was really happening, I couldn't believe I'd supported my husband through seven years of

0:24.8

pornography addiction recovery and not one therapist during that time told me I

0:29.2

was experiencing emotional and psychological abuse and sexual coercion.

0:33.7

Like how does that happen?

0:35.3

Why is it that we go for help?

0:37.2

But instead, we just get dismissed over and over and over

0:41.3

by therapists, by clergy, by other professionals?

0:44.8

Why doesn't anyone understand this type of abuse?

0:48.4

That's why I started podcasting.

0:50.6

I didn't want any other woman on the planet to be in the dark about what was really happening to her.

0:57.0

If you feel the same way, one simple way to help spread the word, an anonymous way, is to go to Apple Podcasts or your

1:04.1

favorite podcasting app. Find the BTR.org podcast and click on follow or

1:09.4

subscribe. Just pushing one little button on your favorite podcasting app will bump this

1:14.7

podcast up in the algorithm. By anonymously pushing that button you could be

1:19.8

the miracle some other woman out there needs because there are so many women praying for

1:24.8

answers and they don't know where to look. While you're there a five-star rating

1:29.4

helps too and can save other women from getting the wrong kind of help, like a couple program that'll make

1:34.8

this type of abuse worse.

1:38.0

If you've already purchased a copy of my book Trauma Mama Husband drama available on Amazon.

...

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