Why Your Tears Feel Like a Weapon to Me and Other Narcissists
The Mental Healness Podcast
Lee Hammock
4.9 • 1.2K Ratings
🗓️ 5 January 2026
⏱️ 15 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Why does your crying make a narcissist so angry? In this video, Lee Hammock (Self-Aware Narcissist) breaks down the cold and often cruel reactions narcissists have to your tears. While you are looking for comfort, they are looking for control.
As a narcissist in therapy, Lee explains the 'Internal Software Crash' that happens when they see you cry. From viewing your tears as a manipulative tactic to feeling a sense of 'victory' over your emotions, this video uncovers the truth behind the lack of empathy. If you’ve ever been told to 'stop crying' or been ignored while in pain, this perspective will help you understand that it’s not your fault—it’s their limitation.
What we cover today:
The Manipulation Mirror: Why they think you’re 'faking it' (because they often do).
The Power Trip: Why some narcissists actually feel a 'high' or arousal when they see you broken.
Emotional Cruelty: The reason they go 'ice cold' or even fall asleep when you are sobbing.
The Shame Trigger: How your pain reminds them of their own hidden shame, causing them to lash out.
Connect with Lee:
My Courses: https://courses.mentalhealness.net
Healing Support Group: https://mentalhealness.thinkific.com/products/communities/thementalhealers
1-on-1 Coaching Calls: https://mentalhealness1on1perspective.as.me/schedule/ec588030
Follow on Instagram/TikTok: @mentalhealnesss
Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | So I've sat across from people that I thought I cared about in that moment, right, and watch them boohoo crying. |
| 0:08.7 | Like, watch them sobbing their minds and their hearts out right. |
| 0:13.0 | And I felt nothing. |
| 0:15.8 | Like, seriously, I know it sounds bad, but sometimes it can actually be worse than nothing. |
| 0:21.8 | Like, as a self-aworth narcissist, I'm going to talk about why your tears could actually |
| 0:26.2 | make me angry or someone like me angry why you're while you're crying can |
| 0:31.1 | actually set off an episode of narcissistic rage right and I know people go |
| 0:35.3 | like wait Lee tears make you angry why why the hell is that |
| 0:39.4 | well when you cry you think you're showing me your pain you you're expecting me to comfort |
| 0:46.9 | you right like anybody else would like somebody from your past would comfort you like your |
| 0:50.7 | parents will comfort you but for me in my mind my brain processes your tears |
| 0:57.2 | as a form of manipulation like i think that you're crying just to make me look like the bad guy |
| 1:05.4 | make me feel like the bad guy or or or to get outside of this argument that we might be having right i see your tears |
| 1:14.3 | as a way as a scapegoat as a way to just take an exit ramp for what we're talking about right now |
| 1:21.7 | i know you like wait lee what the hell i'm crying because you hurt me i'm crying because you said |
| 1:27.3 | this i'm crying because you did that in my mind? I'm crying because you hurt me. I'm crying because you said this. I'm crying because you did that. In my mind, you're not crying because of any of that. You're crying to try to manipulate me. And I know that sounds foolish. You say, I know people like, Lee, what the hell are you talking about? The mind of a narcissist just works weird as hell,'all and i'm just keeping i'm just keeping in |
| 1:46.4 | hot and ready like seriously i struggle with empathy just like most other narcissists do right |
| 1:53.6 | i struggle with like just just feeling what you feel i see the tears i don't feel the tears right so i think you're just |
| 2:05.1 | i really truly just think you're trying to manipulate me because this is what something that i would do |
| 2:10.7 | right i think that you're using your tears to manipulate me because I would use my tears to manipulate you. |
| 2:19.9 | This can be as simple as that. |
| 2:21.4 | Your tears, I know when I cry, which is very rarely, that I'm trying to just divert attention away from the actual issue. |
... |
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