Why You Should Stop Labeling Emotions Good or Bad with Dr. Susan David

The Anxious Achiever

Morra Aarons-Mele

Careers, Management, Mental Health, Business, Health & Fitness

4.7 • 600 Ratings

🗓️ 18 September 2025

⏱️ 53 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

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Summary

We’re often taught to push away grief, sadness, anxiety, or anger, but what if those emotions aren’t the enemy, but the key to resilience? In this episode, Harvard psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Susan David explains why emotions aren’t good or bad, positive or negative. She breaks down the groundbreaking concept of emotional agility, the skill set that allows us to face our thoughts and feelings with curiosity, compassion, and courage, and then move forward guided by our values. We also talk about why toxic positivity is so damaging, how difficult emotions signpost what matters most, and why learning to “hold anxiety in one hand and courage in the other” changes the way we work, lead, and live. Tune in to learn how to stop letting your emotions dictate your actions and start using them as valuable data. In this Episode, You Will Learn 00:00 Why emotions are not good or bad. 05:00 How toxic positivity and “forced optimism” hurt leaders and organizations. 09:45 Why suppressing emotions leads to burnout, conflict, and emotional leakage. 13:00 How emotional agility differs from rigidity. 17:00 How anxiety and fear can actually point you to your values. 19:45 Why connecting to your values protects against burnout. 23:00 The cost of sidelining emotions in schools, workplaces, and culture. 27:00 How uncertainty and discomfort are the price of admission to a meaningful life. 31:00 Why grief is “love looking for its home” and how to honor it. 34:00 Listener story about grief, caregiving, and professional identity after loss. 42:00 What organizations can do to support employees navigating caregiving and grief. Resources + Links Learn more about Dr. Susan David’s work HERE! Grab your copy of Dr. Susan David “Emotional Agility” HERE! Get a copy of my book - The Anxious Achiever Watch the podcast on YouTube Find more resources on our website morraam.com Follow Follow me: on LinkedIn @morraaronsmele + Instagram @morraam Follow Dr. Susan David: on LinkedIn @susanadavidphd

Transcript

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0:00.0	There's nothing good or bad, positive or negative, about any thought, emotion, or story.
0:15.8	It's literally our brain doing its job, trying to protect us.
0:25.0	That's my guest, Harvard psychologist Susan David.
0:31.4	And today on the show, we're going to talk about the emotions so many of us are taught to push away.
0:43.3	Grief, sadness, anxiety, anger. But Dr. David reminds us. Emotions are part of what makes us human and they help us understand the world, make meaning, adapt, and protect ourselves. And listen, we all know when we
0:50.0	try to push difficult feelings aside, they don't just disappear. They leak out in ways that hurt
0:56.1	us and our relationships and really affect how we show up at work. I'm Maura Aaron's Mealy,
1:01.9	and this is the anxious achiever, the show that looks at the intersection of mental health and
1:08.0	leadership and work.
1:18.3	Susan David calls the skills we need to navigate our reality, emotional agility,
1:24.4	the inner toolkit that helps us move through life's fragility with honesty and compassion and health needed more than ever right now. We'll also hear from
1:30.6	listener Jesse Lytton, who shares how she refound her professional identity after experiencing a
1:36.7	huge loss. Listen, it is truly difficult to experience grief and sadness and anxiety and anger. They never, never feel good.
1:50.0	And yet, David says, these emotions are bound up with the fragility of life. Life's beauty and
1:56.7	life's fragility, she says, are interwoven. This episode will give you tools to not just help
2:04.1	yourself deal with tough emotions, but the people on your team and those you love.
2:12.2	There is a narrative that talks to this about cancer and I experienced this profoundly in my own life
2:22.5	with my own parent who was diagnosed with terminal cancer when I was 15.
2:30.0	And I recall going into his room one day after he had guests who had basically come to say
2:38.7	goodbye to him.
2:39.5	And my dad was sobbing.
2:42.4	And I remember saying to him like, Daddy, Daddy, you know, what's going on?
	...

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