Why You Keep Misreading People | Surrounded By Idiots Author
The High Performance Podcast
High Performance
4.8 • 4.7K Ratings
🗓️ 17 December 2025
⏱️ 36 minutes
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Summary
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Most communication fails for a simple reason: we talk to people the way we want to be talked to.
In this episode, Damian sits down with behavioural expert and Surrounded by Idiots author Thomas Erikson to explore why adaptability, not eloquence, is the habit that defines effective communication. Thomas explains how even highly capable people create unnecessary friction when they rely on their own preferences instead of tuning into the person in front of them.
At the centre of the conversation is self-awareness. Thomas shows how understanding your own behavioural style makes it easier to recognise what others need, whether that’s clarity, reassurance, inspiration, or detail. When that awareness is missing, conversations stall. When it’s present, trust and momentum follow.
In this episode, they discuss:
Why people misinterpret good intentions so often
How different behavioural styles process information and feedback
The cost of assuming others think like you do
Simple ways to adjust your message without losing authenticity
Why asking “How would you like me to go about this?” changes everything
If you work with people, and especially if you lead them, this episode will sharpen how you listen, how you speak, and how you create alignment without unnecessary tension.
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | Welcome to the essential habits of high performance. This is the podcast where we explore the daily |
| 0:07.5 | practices, the mindsets and those small changes that can create extraordinary results. I'm your host, |
| 0:14.5 | Damien Hughes, and today we're diving into a skill that impacts on every area of your life. |
| 0:20.5 | Communication. |
| 0:22.2 | Here's the thing. |
| 0:23.5 | Most of us communicate based on what we need. |
| 0:26.3 | We speak the way we want to be spoken to, |
| 0:28.3 | and that's exactly why many of us can feel like we're struggling. |
| 0:33.9 | Our guest today is Thomas Erickson, |
| 0:36.1 | the Swedish behavioural expert behind the global phenomenon bestseller, |
| 0:40.7 | surrounded by idiots, a book that's been translated into 70 languages, |
| 0:45.5 | and has helped millions of people finally understand why some conversations flow effortlessly, |
| 0:51.1 | while others feel like talking to a brick wall. |
| 0:56.4 | Thomas' essential habit is deceptively simple. Adapt your communication style to match your listeners' needs. Not just speaking |
| 1:02.9 | clearly, but speaking differently, depending on who you're talking to. And when you master |
| 1:08.7 | this habit, something remarkable happens. You connect more deeply. |
| 1:13.8 | Misunderstandings tend to evaporate and you start getting better results at work, at home, |
| 1:19.4 | and in every relationship that matters. In this conversation, Thomas breaks down his four-color |
| 1:24.9 | framework, red, yellow, green and blue, |
| 1:31.4 | and shows you exactly how to read people in minutes, adjust your approach, |
| 1:34.0 | and finally feel like you've been heard. |
| 1:37.4 | So whether you're leading a team, raising a family, |
... |
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