Why You Keep Falling Off Track—and the Tools That Help You Start Again with Katy Milkman

The One You Feed

Eric Zimmer, The One You Feed

Education, Self-improvement, Health & Fitness, Religion & Spirituality, Buddhism, Mental Health

4.6 • 2.5K Ratings

🗓️ 26 December 2025

⏱️ 54 minutes

🔗️ Recording | iTunes | RSS

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

If you’re feeling overwhelmed and don’t have the luxury of doing less, Overwhelm Is Optional offers simple tools you can use in under ten minutes a day. Learn more at⁠ oneyoufeed.net/overwhelm⁠ Help us make the podcast better—share your input in a short survey:: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠oneyoufeed.net/survey. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Thank You! In this episode, Katy Milkman explains why you keep falling off track and shares tools that will help you start again. She shares why lasting behavior change is so difficult—and what science reveals about how people actually change. Katy also delves into impulsivity, motivation, confidence, habit formation, and why willpower alone so often fails. Katy shares research-backed tools like temptation bundling, commitment devices, and fresh starts. Listeners will walk away with a clearer understanding of why they get stuck, practical strategies to move forward, and permission to stop striving for perfection and start building change that can survive real life. If you’ve ever felt frustrated by starting over—or wondered why good intentions aren’t enough—this conversation offers both clarity and compassion. Exciting News!!!Coming in March 2026, my new book, ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠How a Little Becomes a Lot: The Art of Small Changes for a More Meaningful Life is now available for pre-orders!⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Key Takeaways vior change through a diagnostic, personalized approach The role of impulsivity (present bias) in undermining long-term goals Understanding internal barriers to change instead of relying on willpower Making goal-aligned behaviors more enjoyable to increase persistence Temptation bundling as a strategy for aligning short-term rewards with long-term outcomes The importance of confidence and self-efficacy in sustaining change Using advice-giving and mentoring to strengthen belief in one’s ability to change Commitment devices as tools for overcoming procrastination and self-control challenges Flexible habit formation versus rigid routines for long-term consistency Embracing fresh starts and setbacks as part of the change process For full show notes,⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠click here⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠!⁠ Connect with the show: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Follow us on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@TheOneYouFeedPod⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Subscribe on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Apple Podcasts⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ or ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Spotify⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Follow us on ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ If you enjoyed this conversation with Katy Milkman, check out these other episodes: How to Stay Motivated with Ayelet Fishbach Tiny Habits for Behavior Change with BJ Fogg By purchasing products and/or services from our sponsors, you are helping to support The One You Feed, and we greatly appreciate it. Thank you! This episode is sponsored by: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Aura Frames⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: For a limited time, save on the perfect gift by visiting ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠AuraFrames.com /FEED ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠to get $35 off Aura’s best-selling Carver Mat frames – named #1 by Wirecutter – by using promo code FEED at checkout. This deal is exclusive to listeners, and frames sell out fast, so order yours now to get it in time for the holidays! ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Uncommon Goods ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠has something for everyone – you’ll find thousands of new gift ideas that you won’t find anywhere else, and you’ll be supporting artists and small, independent businesses. To get 15% off your next gift, go to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠UNCOMMONGOODS.com/FEED⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠LinkedIn⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠: Post your job for free at ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠linkedin.com/oneyoufeed⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠. Terms and conditions apply. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0	Eight years ago, I was completely overwhelmed. Career, two teenage boys, a growing podcast, a mother
0:07.2	who needed care. That's when I stumbled into something I now called the Stillpoint method,
0:12.9	a way of using small moments throughout my day to change not how much I had to do, but how I felt
0:19.7	while doing it.
0:23.8	So I built something I wish I'd had back then.
0:28.0	Overwhelm is optional, tools for when you can't do less.
0:32.1	It's an email course that fits into moments that you already have less than 10 minutes total a day.
0:34.7	It's not about doing less.
0:36.8	It's about relating differently to what you do.
0:40.0	Holiday price is $29. Check it out at one you feed.net slash overwhelm.
0:46.5	If you encourage people to find a way to pursue their goals that they actually enjoy, they persist much longer.
1:00.3	Music enjoy, they persist much longer. Welcome to the one you feed.
1:02.8	Throughout time, great thinkers have recognized the importance of the thoughts we have.
1:07.3	Quotes like garbage in, garbage out, or you are what you think, ring true.
1:12.6	And yet, for many of us, our thoughts don't strengthen or empower us.
1:16.6	We tend toward negativity, self-pity, jealousy, or fear.
1:21.6	We see what we don't have instead of what we do.
1:24.6	We think things that hold us back and dampen our spirit. But it's not
1:28.7	just about thinking. Our actions matter. It takes conscious, consistent, and creative effort to
1:34.5	make a life worth living. This podcast is about how other people keep themselves moving in the right
1:39.9	direction, how they feed their good wolf.
1:50.2	One of the quietest reasons people don't change is they stop believing they can.
	...

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