Why You Get Attracted to the Wrong People
Love Life With Matthew Hussey
Matthew Hussey
4.7 • 3.1K Ratings
🗓️ 13 October 2020
⏱️ 9 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Do you ever find yourself getting attracted to people who are unavailable (emotionally or otherwise)? Treat you poorly? Or simply aren’t interested in you?
Why does this happen? Why do we conveniently keep getting attracted to the least convenient people?
It can be deeply frustrating, especially when there might be someone who does like us but who we just don’t want.
In this episode, I explain two fundamental reasons why this keeps happening. At the end, I give you a practical “mind trick” you can do on yourself to change this...
Learn the 2 mistakes that keep you from meeting the right person...
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | I've ever found yourself attracted to the wrong person. |
| 0:24.8 | What is the wrong person? |
| 0:29.0 | The wrong person could be someone who doesn't notice us or frankly doesn't even care that we exist. |
| 0:35.5 | It could be someone who is treating us badly, someone who is toxic. |
| 0:39.1 | It could be someone who's simply not prepared to invest on the level that we are. |
| 0:44.9 | But why do we fall for this kind of person? |
| 0:50.5 | There are two answers to this. |
| 0:51.8 | One is perspective, the other is self-esteem. |
| 0:54.5 | Let's start with perspective. |
| 0:56.4 | Sometimes we find someone who appears to be hard to get, uniquely challenging. |
| 1:02.2 | And because they're uniquely challenging, we immediately attribute a value to them based |
| 1:08.3 | on a kind of cerebral supply and demand economics. |
| 1:13.3 | If they're not available, they must be worth more. |
| 1:17.7 | And that's why when people come to me and say, |
| 1:19.6 | man, why am I always attracted to the people I can't have, but the people that want me, |
| 1:24.2 | I'm never attracted to. |
| 1:26.1 | Very often when someone wants us, we think they're abundant. |
| 1:29.1 | Oh, they'll always be there. |
| 1:30.4 | When someone doesn't want us, we think I must have them. |
| 1:33.2 | They're rare and valuable. |
| 1:35.3 | This is a fallacy. |
| 1:37.1 | We should honor the fact that someone likes us. |
... |
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