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Something You Should Know

Why You Click With Some People & How to Pursue Anything with Excellence

Something You Should Know

Mike Carruthers | OmniCastMedia

Science, Self-improvement, Social Sciences, Health & Fitness, Education

4.54.3K Ratings

🗓️ 29 January 2026

⏱️ 51 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

If you want a conversation to feel more engaging and connected, there’s a small, often overlooked detail that can quietly shape how the other person experiences you before either of you even says a word. And it all has to do with your phone. This episode begins with research revealing what that detail is and why it matters more than most people realize. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12110250/ You’ve likely experienced that rare moment when you just click with someone. Conversation flows. It seems effortless – it’s feels magical. But what’s actually happening in those moments — and why doesn’t it happen with everyone? Journalist Kate Murphy joins me to explain the science behind interpersonal synchrony, the conditions that make clicking more likely, and why these moments feel so meaningful. Kate has written for The New York Times and The Wall Street Journal and is author of Why We Click: The Emerging Science of Interpersonal Synchrony. https://amzn.to/4sM4a04 We hear the word excellence everywhere — but what does it really mean to pursue it? Do we need to strive for excellence in everything we do? Is it okay to be average at some things? And how do you avoid chasing what looks like excellence but actually leads to burnout or dissatisfaction? Brad Stulberg explains the difference between true excellence and what he calls “pseudo-excellence,” and how to pursue mastery in a way that leads to both high performance and deep satisfaction. Brad is a writer, researcher, performance coach, and author of The Way of Excellence: A Guide to True Greatness and Deep Satisfaction in a Chaotic World. https://amzn.to/4qY237s When you spend discretionary money, you probably think you know what you’re buying. But there’s another way to think about those purchases — one that research suggests can have a big impact on how satisfied and balanced you feel about spending that money. We wrap up with a shift in perspective that may change how you decide what’s worth spending money on. https://www.nbcboston.com/news/national-international/outsourcing-household-chores-happier-relationship/3871202/ PLEASE SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS SHOPIFY: In 2026, stop waiting and start selling with Shopify! Sign up for your $1 per month trail and start selling today at ⁠https://Shopify.com/sysk⁠ PLANET VISIONARIES: We love the Planet Visionaries podcast, so listen on Apple, Spotify, YouTube or wherever you're listening to this podcast! In partnership with The Rolex Perpetual Planet Initiative. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

Click on a timestamp to play from that location

0:00.0

If you like something you should know, you're probably a curious person who enjoys learning about the world.

0:06.6

And if you're looking for more places to learn, you should know about a podcast from TED called How to Be a Better Human.

0:13.6

The host, Chris Duffy, was recently a guest here talking about why he loves laughter and how you can find more of it in your everyday life.

0:22.0

On how to be a better human, Chris interviews scientists, experts, and TED speakers

0:26.6

about fascinating practical topics from how your dog experiences the world to how to stop doom-scrolling

0:33.9

to how to find a deeper sense of belonging.

0:36.9

You can find how to be a better human, wherever you listen to podcasts.

0:43.5

Today on something you should know, how your cell phone can cause a big problem just by sitting there.

0:51.1

Then the science behind why you just click with some people, but not others.

0:57.0

There are things that can make you less likely to click. You cannot experience synchrony

1:04.0

virtually. If you're not in another person's physical presence, you really can experience

1:10.0

synchrony to its fullest and richest

1:12.5

extent.

1:13.6

Also, when you have extra money, what do you tend to spend it on?

1:18.9

And what it means to pursue something with true excellence?

1:22.9

It means a couple of things, Mike.

1:24.4

The first thing that it means is that you have to be okay with making

1:28.0

yourself vulnerable in risking failure. So it's one thing to say you're going to give something

1:32.4

you're all. It's another thing to actually put yourself in the arena and make yourself

1:35.9

vulnerable and risk failure. All this today aren't something you should know.

1:42.3

That's it. We need a bigger car.

1:44.5

Smart speaker. What's an award-winning SUV?

...

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