Why We Date Unavailable People w/ Mark Groves
Almost Adulting with Violet Benson
Violet Benson
4.8 • 4.1K Ratings
🗓️ 2 February 2023
⏱️ 53 minutes
🧾️ Download transcript
Summary
Hey Besties! Welcome to the month of LOVE! This month we will be diving into everything relationships so you know what that means…the good, the bad, and the unavoidable ugly
To kick off love month on Almost Adulting Violet is joined by human connection specialist and friend of the show, Mark Groves! Mark is the founder of Create The Love movement and is a self-described ‘emotional translator’. Together the two focus on the painful topic of why so many of us are not only consistently drawn to unavailable people, but spend so much time being caretakers and trying to ‘fix’ them. Violet and Mark then deep dive into the baggage many of us carry and explain how so many of us unknowingly exist in an emotionally dysregulated response state - which may explain an issue or two in your relationship. Besties, we’re kicking off love month strong with things you NEED to be aware of, but it’ll feel good in the end. Can’t have the good without weeding out the bad!
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What to Listen For:
- 00:00 Introduction
- 01:04 Why are people emotionally unavailable?
- 04:03 Signs that tell you’re emotionally unavailable
- 09:58 Different people bring our different attachment styles
- 15:34 Dating is not black and white anymore
- 20:02 You have to learn discernment
- 22:53 Dating is a sorting process
- 26:20 Taking the caretaker role
- 30:04 Dysregulated response state
- 36:11 A regulated and secure person
- 38:19 You need to express your thoughts
- 42:00 You are the five people closest to you
- 43:00 Should you stay or leave a relationship?
- 46:02 Be the creator of your life
- 50:02 Venting out or seeking advice?
Connect with Mark on:
- Instagram https://www.instagram.com/createthelove/
- Twitter https://twitter.com/createthelove
- YouTube https://www.youtube.com/user/markgrov...
- Create the Love https://createthelove.com/
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Transcript
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| 0:00.0 | I think there needs to be compassion to why we're drawn towards emotional unavailability, |
| 0:04.0 | because ultimately, if we are drawn to people who are not available to us, |
| 0:08.2 | it means that there's a part of us that's not actually available to relationship. |
| 0:12.1 | It's file events in your favorite meme queen in the big set you didn't ask for, |
| 0:16.2 | but, need a welcome to almost adulting. |
| 0:20.4 | Almost, a welcome. |
| 0:22.1 | Almost, a welcome. |
| 0:24.8 | Are you ready? |
| 0:25.6 | Hey, Bessies. As we are currently diving into love months, you guys know I had to bring back one of my good friends |
| 0:32.6 | and one of our favorites here, almost adulting Mark Groves. Welcome. |
| 0:37.0 | Oh my god, I'm so happy to be back, Bessies. |
| 0:39.5 | For those who don't know, Mark is a human connection specialist and founder of Create the Love. |
| 0:44.0 | He is a motivational speaker and creator. Mark describes himself as an emotional translator |
| 0:49.1 | who empowers people to give words to their feelings. |
| 0:52.4 | Mark, thank you so much for joining me again. We are very excited to have you on here today. |
| 0:57.5 | Oh, man, what are we going to dive into? I'm pretty pumped. |
| 1:00.5 | Because every time we have a chat, I get pretty excited. |
| 1:03.2 | I know. Me too. So I was thinking today we can dive into during January. |
| 1:08.3 | It had a solo episode where I talked about why we're drawn to people who don't love us |
| 1:13.3 | or why we're drawn to difficult people and it has to do with our childhood trauma. |
| 1:16.5 | What we sometimes, the love that we learn is the love we end up being attracted to. |
| 1:20.8 | We get older. So I thought today we can kind of focus around unavailable people and why |
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