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The Kevin Miller Podcast

Why We Actually Want To Experience The Bittersweet w/ Acclaimed Author Susan Cain

The Kevin Miller Podcast

Kevin Miller

Education, Relationships, How To, Social Sciences, Nutrition, Life Sciences, Spirituality, Medicine, Religion & Spirituality, Science, Society & Culture, Health & Fitness, Mental Health, Self-improvement

4.41.4K Ratings

🗓️ 14 November 2025

⏱️ 66 minutes

🧾️ Download transcript

Summary

We are all aware of the primary categories of our emotions, such as joy, trust, fear, surprise, happiness, sadness, surprise, anticipation, anger, and disgust. But I grew up thinking some of those were good and desirable, and some were bad and to be avoided at all cost. You are either being positive or negative. Now that I’ve let myself freely allow and marinate in so-called “negative” emotions, I feel I missed out on so much. I actually find joy in feeling sad. I don’t let it overwhelm and control me, but I get value from the feeling. I was thinking about movies and found out the most popular movie categories are Adventure 24.8%, Action 23.2%, Drama 14.10%, Comedy 14.01%, Thriller/Suspense 7.3%, Horror 6.4%, and Romantic Comedy 4.3%. Which shows me that we pay money and choose to watch movies that fulfill the wide range of emotions. A few years ago I sat down with an expert on the topic. Susan Cain. In 2013 Susan Cain published her book, QUIET: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking. It was beyond a best seller. At the time the book had spent seven years on the New York Times best seller list. Her follow up book however, is called Bittersweet: How Sorrow and Longing Make Us Whole, and it was an instant New York Times best seller as well. Susan helped me realize the most beautiful and joyful experiences of my life have also held an ache and a longing, and this is what Susan is speaking to. She gives focus to the four Hippocratic temperaments of sanguine, melancholic, choleric, and phlegmatic. Most of our world’s greatest creativity and art comes from a melancholic temperament, but Susan writes, “We’ve organized American culture around a sanguine-choleric outlook (forward leaning and combat ready), while Freud labeled melancholic as narcissistic and the main stream culture often views sorrow and longing as clinically depressed.” Susan asks, “How did a nation founded on so much heartache turn into a culture of normative sunshine and enforced positivity?” What you’ll hear is a candid discussion that gives us permission and inspiration to feel the feels and allow sorrow and longing in, in order to more fully experience joy and beauty. You can connect with Susan at susancain.net Sign up for your $1/month trial period at shopify.com/kevin Go to shipstation.com and use code KEVIN to start your free trial. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Transcript

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0:00.0

Welcome. I'm Kevin Miller. This is a podcast for your personal evolution. In this episode,

0:06.5

challenging core tenets of human belief and consciousness. As humans, we're governed by our

0:14.2

core beliefs, many of which we're not really even aware of. There are so many things we believe to be

0:20.0

true and so many foundational

0:21.7

concepts of our perception that we've never questioned. So in this episode, we're going to question

0:27.3

them. Ram Das was an American spiritual teacher, psychologist and a writer. He gained popularity in

0:35.4

the early 60s by bringing concepts of consciousness and spirituality from India to America.

0:41.7

His book, Be Here Now is a spiritual classic, sold well over 2 million copies.

0:46.4

He actually began as a professor at Harvard before being fired along with Timothy Leary for experimenting and advocating the use of psychedelics.

0:55.0

Well, now, for me, as a proper Christian, I was fairly unaware of Ram Dass.

1:01.5

That is until the winter of 2024 when my dad, Dan Miller of 48 Days to the work and life

1:08.1

you love fame, was diagnosed with cancer.

1:10.5

And during the six weeks

1:11.6

between his diagnosis and his ultimate death, he had little interest in any topic other than

1:18.6

spirituality. And one of the people he tuned into was Ram Dass. My brother Jared and my dad would

1:24.5

pull up these YouTube videos of Ram Dass, that's when I got my first

1:28.0

exposure. My spiritual journey since then has been nothing short of revelatory. And such was my

1:34.7

delight then when the giant publisher Harper contacted me about doing a show on a new book from

1:40.8

Ram Dass. What it ended up being, of course, since he's not alive, is a new book

1:44.9

compiled from over 50 talks. Ram Dass conducted, and it was compiled and edited by Parvety Marcus,

1:53.0

who was at Ram Dass's right hand since the beginning, really, of his spiritual leadership back

1:58.1

in the 60s. Parvety is an author of many books on spirituality and one of the closest long-term friends

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